Ian,
Working out was something that we always shared. In California, we practiced baseball - pitching in the backyard, swinging and hitting from our porch to the small hills where the trees once were. This changed to basketball as your interests grew. Our cul-de-sac was perfect for a basketball court.
A side story: I still remember Caylea’s cat Louie getting locked in her room when you were by yourself at home. Mom and I were out - I think in Sacramento - that day. (Louie had learned the fine art of jumping up on the handle, and using his feet to leverage his arms to open the handle. It was not a “one and done” thing, but it took many times.) Well, you called us saying you were hearing noises and someone was definitely in the house - you could hear them rattling the doors. We asked if Indy the dog was upset - and he was not. We suggested that you and Indy play basketball outside as Mom and I returned. We would check things out when we got home. We returned to you doing layups and shooting hoops with Indy all excited just to be with you. In the house, Louie was now out of Caylea’s room and walking freely around. Clearly the cat was the culprit. But it did show how safe it was to be at our home and road in CA.
When we moved to Texas, we continued to play basketball and added Ultimate to our repertoire. But as you entered High School and played football, lifting weights became a key activity. Lifting became a real touchstone for us and joy that we shared. It was not all giggles - lifting really messed up your basketball shot - note to self: never build for strength during basketball season - more on that in other blogs. You lifted at Anderson High School - impressing your football coaches and fellow players and putting the soccer players in awe. I think you were the strongest student on record per pound who was on the record board or not.
But I remember most is us lifting together at 24 hour gym for four years. We would rarely use the machines - it was free weights for you. It was impressive seeing you put up two 120 lbs dumb bells on the bench. Indeed, everyone watched and whispered as this “kid” maxed out the weights there! We did bar-bell bench, incline, decline and other exercises. But it was the leg presses and squats that you loved the most. Wow, you could “get low” as you took weight that I could not imagine on the bar. The bar would bend as you went down and exploded back up to standing position! So many memories as we would spend an hour or two a week together lifting, talking, laughing and just being together. Those were good days!
Lifting since you went “Home” has been tough. Returning to 24 hour gym is difficult and lonely. I have tried but it did not work well. I lifted some at home, but struggled with consistency. The best I did was take a kettlebell out on walks with the dogs and do workouts with it. That was odd, but it was a focused time and it worked! But it would only tone and not really build endurance or strength.
Danny is changing me though. He is going on 27 months sober. You would be so proud of him - his spirit, his work ethic, his professionalism, his commitment to change, his skills at family games and his socialization with good friends. A key part of this is healthy eating and exercise. He joined CrossFit City Limits over two years ago and has been a maniac ever since. He is so strong, so ripped, so fast - I think that I actually hate him now! He got me involved in crossfit this year - now after three months of consistency - I KNOW that I hate him! Doing work outs with people 20+ years younger than me is tough - but I am seeing results…in strength, in endurance, in physique. I am thankful for his encouragement and so excited to share this experience with my son!
The rumor has always been that since your focus became powerlifting and bulking up, that you would have hated crossfit. It was not “true” or “pure.” But as I finished my first “Murph” I realized something - you actually introduced me to crossfit principals and we did a “mini-Murph” before you went Home!
It was the Summer of 2011 and it was a Saturday. You were working at Starbucks and had the afternoon off. It was obviously hot - it is Texas - and you had this inspiration for a workout. Here is what you outlined:
1. Run 0.75 mile
2. Do 10 or 15 pull ups (can’t remember the number)
3. Do 25 to 50 push ups (can’t remember the number)
4. Repeat 3 times
Well, as I faced my first “Murph” I saw some striking similarities:
1. Run 1 mile
2. Do 100 pull ups
3. Do 200 push ups
4. Do 300 air squats
5. Run 1 mile
Now, in our experience at home - we ran around our block which is basically 0.75 miles. You did the full number of strict pull ups and push ups. I did a “number” but it was definitely less than you. We repeated this - and after the second time - I was just wasted. You finished the third round and were exhausted too!!
So, as I was doing my 80% Murph on Memorial Day in 2018, I remembered this story - doing our “mini-Murph” together. I went over it in my mind as I ran the 1,200 meters - twice - and struggled through 80 pull ups, 180 push ups and 240 air squats. I shared this story with Danny after he finished his “full Murph” with a 20 lbs jacket on (yes, you and he are both maniacs!). His first comment was why you and I did not do air squats during our “mini-Murph.” I told him - I did not know. Danny said you would probably think “air squats are stupid.”
There is not more here to say - but I am thankful how working out can be something we still share. While I run, I think of how you taught me to run on my balls of my feet, to keep my feet short on the ground, to lean forward - all things they emphasize at crossfit. I think of you as I squat - Dad, go lower, keep looking up, don’t bow your back. You are on my mind as a deadlift, strict press, swing a kettle bell and struggle to do pull ups - yes still. You inspire me; you join with me. I am not alone as I sweat and want to quit. You are with me to encourage me with your memory, your smile, your laugh, your work ethic, your strength.
Life can be very long, grueling and had to keep going. Not having you with me can feel like a weight around my heels. But I remember the promise:
Why do you complain…my cause is disregarded by my God”?
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
They will walk and not be faint. (Is. 40-27-31).
I must be honest that I am weary, tired and weak. I often stumble and fall. I need to “hope in the Lord” and allow him to renew my strength - on the inside and the outside. In life and in crossfit, soaring, running and walking - consistently and to the glory of God is so important. So, please soar, run and walk with me as I try to be in shape, be a good steward of my body and my health, and honor your memory by doing things you would want me to do - even if it is crossfit.
Love you Ian.
Dad
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