Ian,
Mom always said you would grow up to be a counselor or
preacher. I can attest that you are both - but I will think a bit more about
the preacher in you in this blog. Anyone who knows you could tell of your knack
of delivering truth when people needed to hear it, always constructively and
with compassion. You started young; remember leading us all in "Jesus
Loves Me" at Yosemite - I think you were 3! Friends with relational
problems, people asking advice, your dad dealing with his demons - you were
always speaking the truth and encouraging people to walk in it. There are many
stories to tell here, but will focus on two.
Parent's Weekend at A&M 2013, Mom and I came to visit.
We have written about the great time we enjoyed with you elsewhere, but I have
to recount some highlights for my own joy. The giggling and joking shared in
our B&B room, dinner at Pot Belly and seeing Brenda there, breakfast with
the international studies group ("Where are you going to study ('abroad' -
implied), Ian?" "I'm studying at A&M..." you responded),
walking through the A&M Mother's Club exhibits and playing the raffles,
eating at the trailers, going to the Maroon and White Game with your friends,
working out, hearing your frustrations about your friends, seeing what
"the true definition of white trash" is, going to church together,
shopping at Best Buy, getting the Hulk, Thor, etc. USBs, eating at Laine's,
kissing you goodbye in the parking lot as you headed to tutoring - so many
wonderful memories. But as I think of you and the Word, one really sticks
out.
"His divine power has granted to us all things that
pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to
his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and
very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the
divine nature... For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your
faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self- control,
and self- control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and
godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if
these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being
ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For
whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having
forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins...for if you practice these
qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be richly provided
for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus
Christ." (vs. 3-11)
I don't remember if you quoted all of this (probably not,
because that is a load), but you really dug into the first part. That God had
called and given us EVERYTHING we need for life and godliness through His precious
and very great promises through which we can be like Him and grow into His
character. You preached to Mom and I for probably 15 min as we walked to the
car and drove to Best Buy. You explained how great our God is, how much clearer
the point, that took so long to get to in the message at church and was really
unclearly presented, was CLEAR in this Scripture and that the preacher should
have used it. Well, that message was clearly delivered by you!!!
Indeed, those precious and very great promises have been the
lifeline that Mom, Caylea, Danny, and our family and friends, and I have leaned
upon since you went Home. The truth that God is in control, that He has gifted
us with everything that we need in His Son, that His Word is sufficient, that
it is true - has made this very hard road something that we can navigate.
Although it has been very hard. I remember the encouragement you gave me in
Laine's as I let my codependency express and frustrate you and Mom - that God
was enough, that He has a plan, that He gives power to walk and live
differently. I apologize for my poor example. I am thankful for your clear and
fervent faith in God's truth - you were both preacher and counselor then. I
need faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness,
brotherly affection and love. I want these qualities added to my character and
regularly expressed in my life. Your words encourage me to pray, seek God and
believe His precious and very great promises that these will become my
character.
The promises about you, that you walk with Jesus, that He
prepared a place for you, that He came to get you, that we will be reunited one
day, these are very precious and more than very great. They are the breath in
my lungs and the beat of my heart. I know that this is the truth for Mom and
our family and your friends. Life is so much less full, fun, joyful, varied,
unpredictable, warm, etc. without you with us. The hope to see Jesus, to be
reunited one day, is the wind necessary to keep this ship moving in very stormy
waters and not quit and just sink. You were more right than you could have
known during that message to Mom and I - God has given us all things we need
for living a godly life to have hope when life is torn from us in His precious
and very great promises. I confess that I have been nearsighted and need to
apply myself with renewed energy to see that these godly qualities are mine and
increasing. This this way, I walk in the steps of our Savior. I also walk in
your steps and example. You preached the qualities of love (and the other
qualities) with your words, but more with your life - actions, priorities, use
of time, first responses to struggles, prayers, etc. You saw that these
qualities were increasing in your life all the time. No wonder that the
entrance into the eternal kingdom of Lord and Savior was so richly provided to
you. Thank you Ian for preaching the Word with your words and your life!
I miss your preaching to me. I miss your encouragement,
occasional rebuke, our sometimes maddening discussions (and arguments) and your
abundant opinions about everything. I feel like life is so quiet, so empty and
so long. But then, there you are preaching the Word to me afresh - encouraging
me not to quit and to press on to the high calling of my Lord. Brenda gave us
one of those messages from you after you went Home. I often reflect on it - its
simplicity, its truth and its timeliness.
"I know that [things] coming up soon that are worrying
you. Just remember that God is on your side, rely on Him and anything is
possible. But also that there is no reason to worry because when you put your
trust in Jesus, when in doubt and struggle, He not only hurts through the pain
with you, but He is the ultimate source of hope to overcome whatever matter
lays beneath you."
The actual words chosen reflect your age and your dexterity
with texting (you were very good at texting, 3,000 texts one month - was that
right?). But the wisdom is based on years believing in, thinking about and
living out those precious and very great promises of God - the truth that He
has given us. The truth that you could not be shaken from. The truth that will
guide us safely Home.
I know that things are coming up soon that are worrying you
- "In this world you will have tribulation, but take heart, I have
overcome the world." Just remember that God is on our side - "If God
is for us, who can be against us?" Anything is possible - for us because
of "Him who can do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think."
There is no reason to worry - "Let not your hearts be troubled, you
believe in God, believe also in me." When we put our trust in Jesus in
doubt and struggle - "we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that
the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every
way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not
forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed." He not only hurts through
the pain with you - by being "numbered with the transgressors" and
"bearing our griefs and carrying our sorrows." He is the ultimate
source of hope to overcome whatever matter lays beneath you - "Who shall
separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation or distress...No in all
these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us."
Ian, you were born to be a preacher. You preached the Word
of God with your life, with your words, when on earth or when Home, whether I
saw you, texted with you, talked with you, or read texts or listened to
messages or music in this past year. You certainly were not perfect - subject
of a future blog? - but you are my example how to know, rely on and live out
God's precious and very great promises in such a way that you were richly
provided an entrance into the Kingdom of our precious Lord and Savior Jesus
Christ. I cling to these promises and to the cross that bought them for us. I
will remember and cling to the Blessed Hope we have in Jesus:
But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a
Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his
glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to
himself. Philippians 3:20-21
Love you “E”,
Dad
No comments:
Post a Comment