ColdPlay

Ian, 

You followed in your brother Daniel's footsteps well - being our source of innovative music. Danny was that source for you and I often as he was in Jr. High and High school. Ska, cutting edge Christian music, rap, indie music first found its way into our family through Danny. However, when we moved to Austin, you picked up that mantle. Danny  kept introducing us to what he listened to in CA, but you found metal, screamo, the new blues-rock scene, folk rock (like Mumford and Sons) and lots of indie and coffee house music. Obviously there are many stories to be written here!

One holdover from California was ColdPlay. Kurt Mundell introduced us - if I remember correctly. I never really latched on to them at the time - but you did. From Kurt, we found Parachutes, Yellow, Sparks, Clocks, The Scientist, Fix You, X&Y, Speed of Sound and other tunes. Once in TX, you talked about their music and their innovative sound. You also looked for new releases - and when Viva La Vida was released - you loved it and bought it for Mom for her birthday or Mother's Day - I forget. BTW, you loved sharing music with people - all of your life. Your selections of music that you gifted were always exquisite and spot on - for friends or family, you were THE music source. Probably another story there too. Again, I was slow to come around - but Mom loved listening to songs you introduced. She would listen with you always (no matter the form - music, video, you playing the bass or guitar - did not matter - she would stop what she was doing to give you full attention and listen!). 

Life in Technicolor, Lovers in Japan, and the anthemic Viva La Vida among other songs you loved and shared with us. It is ironic that this was an album from you. The full title is "Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends." It is a CD full of thoughts of life and death and their intertwined nature. Mylo Xyloto was released in 2011 and it was loved by you immediately. I wanted to join you in your likes - so I finally really listened and I joined the bandwagon seeing the cool music of ColdPlay, interesting message and almost worship-song like arrangements. My favorite is Major Minus. My music snobbery frustrates me now - I wish I joined your bandwagons faster and spent more time listening to YOUR music. I am sorry I cheated us out of that time.

When we looked at your computer for most played songs after you went Home, Paradise was number one by a wide margin. What a fitting song for you to love - you found the pathway from this broken world to the Paradise of our Lord, the courtyard of the King as Jesus told the thief on the cross. That day he met and walked with Jesus there. On April 19th, you joined our Savior and maybe the thief in that very same courtyard. It was the first song I chose for your Tribute soundtrack for your Celebration Service. I want to walk there with Jesus and with you. Can you tell me about Paradise more? I want to know where you live, what you are doing and the music you are making and sharing.

How I wish you would not have "run away" dreaming of Paradise! I listen to ColdPlay a lot now - it Hurts Like Heaven. I love the music and feel close to your as I listen - but it pains me deeply knowing that this music was so close to you and it came directly from you to me. I often cry listening to Paradise, Every Teardrop is a Waterfall down my face as I miss you, really miss you. Knowing the truth of Jesus, Coldplay is correct - "those who are not dead" as sung in "42." You are living with Jesus - you are not dead. But as ColdPlay sings, you are also "living in my head." I see you in the fields that we played frisbie, the basketball goal at home, schools you attended, places you played sports games, our street where we played - Mt. Bonnell, Zilker, Austin Stone, countless concert places - the list is endless. The Hardest Part is that Austin is a minefield of memories that sneak up and grab you. Yes, I feel Lost in memories sometimes, especially on a Rainy Day where I look for you running in the rain and dancing there. But especially when I listen to ColdPlay - every bass lick, each cool hook, layer atmospheric section - it screams your name. I want to Talk with you, share music, thoughts, time, hugs, a smile. Poppa Gene and others have said that you would say "Don't Let It Break Your Heart" - but your going Home does, everyday. We miss you so much Ian. Your Mom is really grieving - she misses her baby so much. I hear her crying and my heart breaks for her, for all of us; the space you left is huge and we feel the emptiness everyday. Caylea and Danny grieve too. I sense it is different for them - but they miss you tremendously. The rest of our family, your friends grieve as well. Just want you to know you are sorely missed. I can't change or lessen the pain - that is hard for someone who is bent on the "Fix You" thing. All I can do is give them to Jesus as I have you - He can make all things new. Death and All His Friends will not have the last word - redemption and eternal life is awaiting us.

I am selfish, I want you In My Place not in Paradise - accepting God's will is very hard. I do hear A Whisper from God telling me that all is okay, that we will share the hug, the smile, the memories in the Kingdom Come - that is A Hopeful Transmission. But as Tom Petty sang, "the waiting is the hardest part." Few things connect me to you as anytime Paradise, Viva La Vida or any other ColdPlay song hits the airways or on my playlist. These songs are close to you - and thus very close to me.

I am writing this after being in airports and airplanes all day listening to endless ColdPlay. I can barely hold it together. It is so bittersweet - I feel close to you, but I really feel your absence so acutely. Everything's Not Lost. Don't Panic, the future is just delayed.

I really miss you. Love you "e."

Dad