Reflecting on Parent's Weekend

Ian, 

I want to write about our last weekend together - what an incredible time we enjoyed and what memories cascade through my mind as I reflect on this time.

The week before Ian went Home was a full week that we now see as a gift by God as Ian’s time on this earth was rapidly coming to an end. Parent’s Weekend was in the middle of a busy Spring but Lanette and I looked forward to be in College Station for 3 days together with our son. We stayed in a B&B that really only had room for two (double bed) but was very nice and near campus. We met Ian in Parking Lot 30 near Moses Hall and, not unexpectedly, he was hungry. We could eat as well. We walked North Gate together and decided on Potbelly. Inside, we met his close friend Brenda and we chatted. We looked up and wondered where Ian went – Ian was busy getting to know the young lady who had checked us out. Nothing special, just getting to know a new person was the goal. People over process and things - that's Ian. We chatted as we ate and discussed the activities associated with the weekend. Ian went back to our B&B and was disappointed that he could not easily stay with us as in the previous B&B when we checked out A&M in the Spring of 2012. Ian struggled with whether or not to go to his friend’s Lori’s birthday party – worried about drinking, etc. After some time together, it was getting late – we dropped Ian off at the dorm and reminded him of the early morning breakfast for international studies. 

The next morning we met in the parking garage near the MSC. We received an earful of the past evening as Ian sought to protect his friends from the hurtfulness and issues associated with drinking. Ian was the only one of his friends that didn’t drink or participate in other activities – he may have had two drinks his whole Freshman year and fought with his friends constantly to keep them sober and acting lovingly with each other. That evening was no different. Well, that Saturday morning, we went to the International Studies breakfast in the new Experimental BIO building and met a nice family who had a son who was going to the UAE campus in the Summer – when asked, Ian said he was going to Texas A&M. He was ribbed extensively for his answer! Ian became increasingly interested in studying abroad as we ate and talked and reflected on the benefits his sister experienced in her last Summer in Germany. We walked around the MSC seeing the Mother’s Club’s homespun wares and we tried to win several raffles – we did not win - no shock! We then went to lunch in the old bonfire site and each tried different food from trailers – Lanette’s chicken meal was amazing. We went to his room to see YouTube videos – a common pastime of Ian and friends and Lanette won a bet with Ian about who won a survival race. Ian was thinking of different Tough Mudder or other survival races to train for - inviting me to participate. I was not sure yet. The late night at the party was the reason for a nap – Lanette and I did not see the pattern of Ian not taking his medicine. The reason for the nap seemed legitimate, but it actually foreshadowed problems to come.

The Maroon and White game was next on our list – see Johnny Football play. We met four of Ian’s friends including Trestan, Justin and Brenda. We enjoyed the game and play and discussed the football prospects of the Ags for the next year. It was nice to “score” when the Ags scored. Lanette pointed out a young lady that was giving Ian the stare during the game. She seemed a bit on the high maintenance or expensive taste for Ian. Lanette and I left in the second half and missed out on – on field pictures and a classic photo bomb by Ian as Brenda posed. These pics have been posted on Facebook - they are a joy to look.

We agreed to meet for a workout and I jogged to the Rec Center and waited for Ian and Brenda to come. Contrary to the normal argument over who would run the workout or Ian’s strategy alone, he dared to do my kettle bell exercise adapted to a dumbbell. We enjoyed the cardio and strength challenge and I wore him out!! That was rare. More on this on another blog - The Rec. We went back to our respective rooms to shower and meet for dinner. After food, we sate at the Mugwalls coffee shop – the Christian one – we watched Ian advise a new barista on drink orders and encourage her on the job she was doing. We studied together and met a Austin family whose twins Ian knew at Great Hills who attended A&M. At about 10 or so, Ian said he was tired and wanted to go to bed. We dropped him off at the dorm and headed back to our B&B. Unknown to us, we learned in the AM that Ian walked in and saw his friends in Moses Dorm and said to Brenden, “Are you thinking what I am thinking?” – together they said “Trashcans!” They then stripped a room of mattresses (two of their friends who happened to be out that evening) and set up a long jump environment in the hall with trashcans to leap over. The video of Ian running, leaping and landing in the fifth can, toppling link a bowling pin falling in the mattresses hair flopping, smile exploding on his face as he yells “WhooHoo!!!” This video has also been shared on Facebook - I'll post it here too - amazing!

Lanette headed out early on Sunday and called Ian telling him she was going to get coffee. Ian said, give him 5 and he would join her. Ian always loved being with us – especially his mom. It was during that trip to the coffee shop, etc. that the trashcan story emerged. We went to a church in which Ian’s friend Nico played the drums. The worship was okay and sermon very practical. Ian was frustrated that the pastor had used his words and wisdom to tie up the message when he could have used 2 Peter 1 to use God’s Word to demonstrate the entire point of the loaves and fishes message – God has imparted everything to His children they need to face the challenges before them and live godly lives. Want to hear more - read Preach the Word, Ian!! on this blog. We went by Best Buy to look for a keyboard. I did not know why he needed a new one - but he wanted a good one, the Apple one with the 10 key. Okay - I should have left this to natural consequences and not made any deal about this. I found a Hulk, Thor and Iron Man USB drive for each of the kids. Ian loved his Hulk USB drive! We then ate lunch at the legendary Cain’s Chicken Restaurant with its special pepper sauce. Ian challenged me to get out of my codependent responses - he was good at encouraging (read Preach the Word, Ian!! for more). I did not respond well to this, but walked off. I came back recognizing my son’s wisdom and strength. We parted ways in the parking lot 30, telling Ian that we loved him and enjoyed the weekend. The bear hug and kiss was memorable - all his hugs were! His maturity, his priority of people again impressed me.

The week after Parent's Weekend was a challenge for Ian, to get a book for Sociology, study for a biology test, application to work at the gym, and other things meant that this was going to be a busy week. We hated to leave him so early, but he had to get on his work and go to A+ tutoring to get ready for the BIO test. A study picture with Ian and Roxie was fun from studying for the BIO test that week. That week was a challenging week in our nation. The Boston Marathon bombing and the fertilizer plant explosion in West, Texas dominated the news. Ian called Lanette to tell him that after a full leg-day workout – a daily habit with Brendon and other friends – that A&M was participating in the “We are not Afraid” 5K to support the people of Boston. Ian was exhausted, but thankful to show solidarity win this manner. Apparently he started strong, finished walking a bit. The pictures with Brenden, Gina and Ian and Ian's selfie with Gina were the last pics we have of Ian. 

Ian’s Bio test did not go as well as he wanted – he made a B, but that made a virtual lock on a C for the semester. He was frustrated and wanted to drop or use another mechanism to get another shot. Two C’s in Biology would really set him back in his major. He was not sure what to do – his plans to be a physical therapist, exercise physiologist, etc were very competitive fields and he wanted to be at the top of the game. Further, his computer stopped working – it sounded like it was blue-screening and he was very frustrated and wanted a new computer or at least this one fixed. We discussed manners to convert his iPad into a full computer to get his application written and other work done and then email and use the computers on campus to print things out. Further, the iPhone Lanette had got him a month a go had a broken or foggy camera. His two other phones, iPhone and Windows phone, kept breaking and not working. This was a constant and frustrating saga for the past three years as Ian appeared to be constantly breaking his phones. 

The broken phone, computer, and need to adapt the iPad were the technical impetus for Ian to come to Austin that fateful Friday to allow Lanette to fix the computer and then take the phone back to the store to get a “fully functional” version. However, Lanette and I were slated to leave for India that next week – and we all wanted to be together. We had planned to go to Momma and Poppa Gene’s that weekend to celebrate their 50th anniversary – but Danny was unable to get that time off. It was still an outside option to visit them, but most likely it was to be a short trip – get things fixed, hang out and head back. So, this set up the final day with Ian as we looked forward to visit with Ian again.

Your visit did not happen - directly. God had other plans. I don't like these plans, but must say I am anxious to renew our conversation with you when we join you in our eternal Home. It seems forever to wait though, Ian. Your calling our names on Mother's Day last year and Mom's vision of you in heaven are our only concrete linkages to you in your new Home. I miss the random texts, the frequent calls, the fun discussions, the playing guitars, etc. we would share each day - whether you were at A&M, visiting home or with friends, hanging out, on and on. Everyday, I look at your contact on my phone and reach to call you, to text you and long to hear from you - everyday! This last weekend together - Parent's Weekend - is a tremendous gift as I mentioned. These are some of my memories. I know that Mom has shared memories as well. Quality time loving you, our son, enjoying you, our son, and now remembering you, our son, and looking forward to rejoining you, our son, soon. 

Love you,

"E"