Every parent brings to their children their identity, their name, their background - for better or worse. Indeed, having kids initially feels like an extension of these things - they now bear my image, to a degree, my personality, to another, and of course my name. This changes as children grow up. The circle of friends and acquaintances that parents associate with usually shrinks with regards to former, non-child having, people and expands and centers on people - parents and families - that share this defining factor: we have children. In this new circle, it is interesting how parents of strong individual identity and qualification become more and more associated with their children. No longer you are [insert your name!] with a degree after your name, but [your name] , [your kid’s name] Mommy or Daddy. This transition becomes more pronounced as your children enter and leave kindergarden, up through high school and beyond. You are, to a large part of your world, simply the mother or father of another. Although we are often driven by people recognizing us, accepting us, knowing us - as parents, that the primary association and identity is with your children is just fine. Indeed, a parent puffs up when he/she is referred to with relation to their children - even those with struggles - for they are a living extension of their parents. We want our children to go forth, be known and take joy and pride in them. We look forward to their lives to grow and eclipse our own.
God seemed to know this. His Son was born in obscurity, yet He sent the heavenly chorus to sing and announce His birth to those who would listen. He revealed the mystery of the child to faithful followers who blessed Jesus as an infant. After living 30 or so years "behind the scenes", Jesus burst forth at His baptism in full fledged ministry. God rejoiced over His Son and showered His Spirit upon Him as He proclaimed, "This is My Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." This statement did not just herald the Son's dual role as Servant and King, but was the expression of the Father's heart toward His Son. This word "Beloved" is used in both the Gospels and Epistles of Jesus. Indeed, every child needs to hear this cry of joy over them by their parents. To say, "This is Danny, my beloved son in whom I am well pleased." "This is Caylea, my beloved daughter, in whom I am well pleased." "This is Ian, my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased." Regardless of performance, attitude or outcome, parents are or need to be rejoicing over their children. "The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17.
God also proclaimed His joy for His Son as Jesus approached the cross and sought that God's Name would be glorified. After Jesus' passion and resurrection God promised that Jesus' Name is not just understood by Him and believers, but by all people of all times. That at the Name of Jesus, every knee will bow and tongue confess that He is Lord to the glory of God the Father. Indeed, praise to our kids, remembering our kids, acknowledging our kids is the highest form of joy and glory for a parent.
I now understand why there are so many gold plaques - I used to think they were just born of hubris (and sometimes thye may be) but often it is parents, families who have lost someone special and they do not want people to forget the name of their beloved. I know that Danny and Caylea will continue to establish their names. I will see their influence and impact expand and rejoice over this. But I am fearful that people will forget Ian's name. That they will move on. I cannot. I know that it is normal and healthy for Ian's friends to move on, for nephews and nieces to grow up and have their memories of Ian grow dim. It is natural to find other relationships, not live in grief, to grow and find other identity. I did when Scotty died. Why not Ian’s friends and family? Well in this case it is my son!! I don't want his name, influence, value and presence to go away or grow dim.
I will not have new pictures of Ian. I take great joy in those I have. I desire intensely to hear new stories about Ian as I did this last week in College Station. Stories of joy, laughter and ice cream; stories of gummy worms and Doritos for dinner; stories of friendship, working out, love and giving. I am so proud of all my kids. They give such joy to my heart. I know they bless people they meet and know. I want Ian to continue to bless his friends, his family, even strangers.
I want you to know his name!
No comments:
Post a Comment