Ian,
You know that I hate running - always have. However your advice given to me and your example has motivated me to run. "Dad, if you want to get rid of that gut, you just need to run - at least 3 times a week." "Dad, it does not matter how far you run, but that you run consistently - you will get in shape quickly." "Stop running on your heels - it is bad for your knees. That is probably why you hate running so much and complain about knee pain. Run on the balls of your feet; run leaning forward; run engaging your core; run forward not falling back." "Dad, running this way will build your calves. You have chicken legs - this can change them!" Okay, this morning I was running in our old neighborhood in Vacaville - running like you said to run. I threw in push ups in three different positions as you taught me as well. This will help get me ready for a Tough Mudder or other active run - according to you. I can tell that following your advice has yielded fruit - I feel that the hill on Vacavalley is nothing. I came off the hill and passed up a lady and two dogs like they were walking. Well, they were just walking - but I was eating pavement. Since I can now think and run, rather than just be in pain, the run gave me time to reflect on my path throughout the old neighborhood - all the things I am thankful for, all the things I miss.
I first left the Mundell's house. So many memories on Shannon Drive. We virtually lived at their house. You learned to play basketball there with Kurt, Danny and Mr. Mundell. We walked up and down Shannon every year on Halloween - it was the best Trick or Treating in the neighborhood. We BBQed occasionally there and we walked to the half mile to the Mundells, or biked, or skated, or... Passed the park on Tributary Ridge. We only played there when you were very small and Danny had baseball nearby. You and Tyler and other friends may have gone there - but I remembered how little you were when we moved to CA - how big you grew! Mom and I ran the pathway along Wrentham for a while. It was the only time I actually ran before. We did circuit training. I think it was a change up for mom as well - she usually walked. I miss sharing exercising and activities with her. You and I road bikes with Indy on Wrentham. You bought your own Haro - you decked it out with curb bars to grind on curbs and other structures. You were so proud of that bike. In TX, I argued while you were in Jr. High and early High School to sell it and get one that fit you - but you always said it fit you. You finally got tired of trying to ride it up and down hills and it was parked finally. Aunt Mandi's kids have your bike now - no doubt they are proud to have one of your prized possessions. Patrick and his sisters will love riding it and doing tricks.
I passed Tyler's house - you Tyler, Ryan, and other friends would ride skateboards, bikes, run around, spend the night at each other's houses. What great friends you have! Your Gone to Texas party at our house on Trillick - they all showed up. You and Danny always had a herd at our house. But this was a big group. I BBQed - probably fajita's, but I know asparagus. You and your friends came in and out of the house from the pool and hot tub grabbing a handful and eating it. That was so California! You and your friends loved swimming - no matter the temperature. Swimming in cold water only meant that running in and out of the hot tub. You guys would play pool or video games in the Play Room (garage). What a great time!
Our old house - so many memories. The pool, the hot tub, the yard - for baseball, frisbee, football, sledding down the hill, Caylea climbing the trees, all sorts of stuff. Loved the layout - We were all so close together - never like being so far from you guys on Tributary Ridge. "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a Danny, Caylea and Little Ian too - Mommy and Daddy love each of you!" Sleeping with mom on the couch after we watch a movie as a family. Seeing the Horns win a National Championship, seeing the Titians almost win the Super Bowl, 911, etc. "Jesus, Keeper of this life. You are my Refuge, my Savior, my Guide, watch over Danny, Caylea, Ian and Taylor tonight, guide their every footstep as they travel this life - and in some quiet moment call them to Your side, so they will come to know You, as the Keeper of this life." How God has been faithful to this nightly prayer - calling you, Caylea, Taylor and Danny to Himself and keep calling you. I pray He keeps calling us back and back as we stray. We played basketball, you took refuge with shooting baskets with Indy as Louie learned to open doors and freaked you out. Becky filled our Suburban with paper and taught us how to prank and be crazy. Saran wrapping and other "reverse-pranks" were launched from this house! We also joined her in the fun - remember singing carols out of tune to her family - shocked with our skill and then surprised them with pictures of her aunt. We skated, played hockey, through footballs, learned to ride bikes, played games in the rain in our Trillick cul de sac. Much more, so much more in that house and neighborhood. Not enough time; not enough memory retained. Need to look at pictures!
Brown's Valley Elementary School - I remember your first day in Kindergarden, You blossoming from the quiet young kid with Anna at Bethany Lutheran, to the kid that no teacher could keep quiet. Mr. Northrup's room arrangement to keep you Tyler, Ryan apart and they you socialized quiet kids, boys and girls alike. I remembered the block and a half walk to the school - you learning to make your lunch, the Halloween parades, coming to class events, us leaving you at 6th grade graduation, on and on. The park has a new play structure - that was the first place we played when we came to CA. You learned to be an active kid, trusting your strength and body there. We played football, learned to throw a frisbee and practiced pitching and hitting in that park.
I ran (walked quickly to be honest - I blame it on the deep cow prints not my lack of aerobic shape!) Old Rocky. This first was Danny and my place - you and Caylea were too young to climb for a while after coming to Vacaville. I remember your first time up Old Rocky - I carried you and helped Caylea to the top. That was my goal - not yours! Poppa Gene and Danny had to help us down. The cow prints cause tripping and falling. I remember coming up with a Mike Mundell, Indy and Shelby for the first time. Shelby saw a rabbit or something and was gone over the next two hills. Indy started out after her - I screamed his name, we all did - he returned and seemed to say with his eyes, "See what a good boy I am! Look at that crazy girl. You will have to go and get her. Let me help!" Indeed, Mike had to fetch his dog as we trailed. That was a good day. We came once or twice a year to the top if the light post or the top of the other hill. It was a family Fall classic event shared with friends often - Kelsi, Kurt, Aaron, others. Our last trip covered the full hill - from Vaca Valley to Woodcrest. Caylea, you and I walked it all. We paused to see our neighborhood from above, our home of your youth, your elementary school, Vacaville in panorama. We took some of my favorite pictures of my precious youngsters - who were to go to Jr. High and High School - how was that possible. Where had the time gone. It flew with Danny - would it fly with you as well? What would life be like in Texas? Old Rocky never changed in almost 11 years - but my babies and child were now nearly grown up. Father's feel this passage of time deeply with pride and a tinge of sadness.
I passed by Serek's street - what a interesting friend. That was your video game friend of your age. Chris Restel's house reminded me of how Danny's friends respected your Halo and other game skills. They often invited you to join their mutiplayer games (Halo, Madden, others) - yes a kid in elementary school competitive with high schoolers. Danny always involved you and Caylea. Indeed, Caylea and you were invited by Danny and Taylor to play lots of D&D as Laine painted an excited quest as Dungeon Master. That was fun - getting little statues, to be your characters, hearing the stories and listening to the laughter. It still echoes in my heart.
Ryan's house was down Woodcrest to the left. I think his house and Aaron Dicken's house were the last places you spent the night when you visited Vacaville in Jr. High by yourself. You told such stories of fun and reunion. The boys had changed for sure since you left - some for the better, some for the worst - but you were sure and steady following God's compass and calling.
The baseball fields on Brown's Valley were the place you and Danny played ball, Caylea learned to read, we spent hot days, cold nights, endured working in the snack shop, ate bad hot dogs and grew up as a family. Lots of joy, lots of thanksgiving. I did not run by them - not on the path, but clearly visible from on top Old Rocky. Memories clearly present, uncovered, dusted off by places and sounds all around me.
The path I ran reminded me of the walks, the rides with Indy and Charlie to a lesser extent. We loved those dogs - yes, Indy more! Indy was our first big family loss. What a hole he left moving on. But we watched him grow old, suffer and it was time. It is hard reconciling God's timing with mine. You had grown up for sure. You are a man - but too young, so much life seemed left here - but God wanted your life lived Home, not at our home. That is a hard surrender - to trust in His love and plan when you just don't agree! The rocks at my feet on old Rocky remind me of the rocks we had at our house to set up boundaries on our grass. A few of these boundary stones we carried down the mountain from one place to be at home and serve our purpose at our home. I guess that is somewhat what God chose - brought you to His Home for greater purposes. Lord, not my will but Your's be done.
We ran in Texas much more than in CA. We ran with track in Jr. High to get in shape. We ran playing basketball, after work, weekends, mornings - whenever. I hated Daylight savings time - it cut down our light and time to play!!! Nevertheless, we played for hours in the dark with bad spot lights on the goal. I went from being faster than you to slower, stronger to weaker, better shot to just a the proud father watching. We ran at Ultimate - you, Caylea and Danny all shared love for this sport. I may have introduced the disc to the family - but you guys transformed it to a joy loved in CA and TX. Thank you for inviting me to play with you at Zilker those times. Thank you for telling me the stories at Zilker as well. Not just frisbee, but you playing Bessie there with the band and lots of soccer, frisbee, dog walking people stopping to listen and crowd around to watch your skill. What joy near Rock Island had. How hard it was to lay you to rest there. It is a sacred place of memories and of you.
Our last runs were when you returned from A&M. We worked on cross training program to get ready for Tough Mudder or other runs like it. I complained and complained about running - around our neighborhood, at the Rec or wherever we found each other. I wanted to lift weights - that cardio not running. Why did I complain to spend one minute with you? Why wouldn't I run more when you would ask? I passed up so many opportunities - to do what? Watch TV? Play guitar? Put off till next time? Time was something we lacked and I did not treat it as precious. I am so sorry Ian.
I ran to meet you at the Rec that Saturday after the Maroon and White game. What a great time working out we enjoyed! I ran as you suggested - balls of my feet down, or at least tried to. I bought Vibrams, five finger things like you, recently and have tried to run as you taught me since you went Home. I was regular for a while - then I became too depressed to run for months. I am back running now. I feel you running with me. I know we share these times together. I know that I will run those Tough Mudder races in your honor, in your stead. I know we will run the streets of gold together at Home one day. I can't wait for that day, Ian.
I love you.
Dad
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
ColdPlay
Ian,
You followed in your brother Daniel's footsteps well - being our source of innovative music. Danny was that source for you and I often as he was in Jr. High and High school. Ska, cutting edge Christian music, rap, indie music first found its way into our family through Danny. However, when we moved to Austin, you picked up that mantle. Danny kept introducing us to what he listened to in CA, but you found metal, screamo, the new blues-rock scene, folk rock (like Mumford and Sons) and lots of indie and coffee house music. Obviously there are many stories to be written here!
One holdover from California was ColdPlay. Kurt Mundell introduced us - if I remember correctly. I never really latched on to them at the time - but you did. From Kurt, we found Parachutes, Yellow, Sparks, Clocks, The Scientist, Fix You, X&Y, Speed of Sound and other tunes. Once in TX, you talked about their music and their innovative sound. You also looked for new releases - and when Viva La Vida was released - you loved it and bought it for Mom for her birthday or Mother's Day - I forget. BTW, you loved sharing music with people - all of your life. Your selections of music that you gifted were always exquisite and spot on - for friends or family, you were THE music source. Probably another story there too. Again, I was slow to come around - but Mom loved listening to songs you introduced. She would listen with you always (no matter the form - music, video, you playing the bass or guitar - did not matter - she would stop what she was doing to give you full attention and listen!).
Life in Technicolor, Lovers in Japan, and the anthemic Viva La Vida among other songs you loved and shared with us. It is ironic that this was an album from you. The full title is "Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends." It is a CD full of thoughts of life and death and their intertwined nature. Mylo Xyloto was released in 2011 and it was loved by you immediately. I wanted to join you in your likes - so I finally really listened and I joined the bandwagon seeing the cool music of ColdPlay, interesting message and almost worship-song like arrangements. My favorite is Major Minus. My music snobbery frustrates me now - I wish I joined your bandwagons faster and spent more time listening to YOUR music. I am sorry I cheated us out of that time.
When we looked at your computer for most played songs after you went Home, Paradise was number one by a wide margin. What a fitting song for you to love - you found the pathway from this broken world to the Paradise of our Lord, the courtyard of the King as Jesus told the thief on the cross. That day he met and walked with Jesus there. On April 19th, you joined our Savior and maybe the thief in that very same courtyard. It was the first song I chose for your Tribute soundtrack for your Celebration Service. I want to walk there with Jesus and with you. Can you tell me about Paradise more? I want to know where you live, what you are doing and the music you are making and sharing.
How I wish you would not have "run away" dreaming of Paradise! I listen to ColdPlay a lot now - it Hurts Like Heaven. I love the music and feel close to your as I listen - but it pains me deeply knowing that this music was so close to you and it came directly from you to me. I often cry listening to Paradise, Every Teardrop is a Waterfall down my face as I miss you, really miss you. Knowing the truth of Jesus, Coldplay is correct - "those who are not dead" as sung in "42." You are living with Jesus - you are not dead. But as ColdPlay sings, you are also "living in my head." I see you in the fields that we played frisbie, the basketball goal at home, schools you attended, places you played sports games, our street where we played - Mt. Bonnell, Zilker, Austin Stone, countless concert places - the list is endless. The Hardest Part is that Austin is a minefield of memories that sneak up and grab you. Yes, I feel Lost in memories sometimes, especially on a Rainy Day where I look for you running in the rain and dancing there. But especially when I listen to ColdPlay - every bass lick, each cool hook, layer atmospheric section - it screams your name. I want to Talk with you, share music, thoughts, time, hugs, a smile. Poppa Gene and others have said that you would say "Don't Let It Break Your Heart" - but your going Home does, everyday. We miss you so much Ian. Your Mom is really grieving - she misses her baby so much. I hear her crying and my heart breaks for her, for all of us; the space you left is huge and we feel the emptiness everyday. Caylea and Danny grieve too. I sense it is different for them - but they miss you tremendously. The rest of our family, your friends grieve as well. Just want you to know you are sorely missed. I can't change or lessen the pain - that is hard for someone who is bent on the "Fix You" thing. All I can do is give them to Jesus as I have you - He can make all things new. Death and All His Friends will not have the last word - redemption and eternal life is awaiting us.
I am selfish, I want you In My Place not in Paradise - accepting God's will is very hard. I do hear A Whisper from God telling me that all is okay, that we will share the hug, the smile, the memories in the Kingdom Come - that is A Hopeful Transmission. But as Tom Petty sang, "the waiting is the hardest part." Few things connect me to you as anytime Paradise, Viva La Vida or any other ColdPlay song hits the airways or on my playlist. These songs are close to you - and thus very close to me.
I am writing this after being in airports and airplanes all day listening to endless ColdPlay. I can barely hold it together. It is so bittersweet - I feel close to you, but I really feel your absence so acutely. Everything's Not Lost. Don't Panic, the future is just delayed.
I really miss you. Love you "e."
Dad
You followed in your brother Daniel's footsteps well - being our source of innovative music. Danny was that source for you and I often as he was in Jr. High and High school. Ska, cutting edge Christian music, rap, indie music first found its way into our family through Danny. However, when we moved to Austin, you picked up that mantle. Danny kept introducing us to what he listened to in CA, but you found metal, screamo, the new blues-rock scene, folk rock (like Mumford and Sons) and lots of indie and coffee house music. Obviously there are many stories to be written here!
One holdover from California was ColdPlay. Kurt Mundell introduced us - if I remember correctly. I never really latched on to them at the time - but you did. From Kurt, we found Parachutes, Yellow, Sparks, Clocks, The Scientist, Fix You, X&Y, Speed of Sound and other tunes. Once in TX, you talked about their music and their innovative sound. You also looked for new releases - and when Viva La Vida was released - you loved it and bought it for Mom for her birthday or Mother's Day - I forget. BTW, you loved sharing music with people - all of your life. Your selections of music that you gifted were always exquisite and spot on - for friends or family, you were THE music source. Probably another story there too. Again, I was slow to come around - but Mom loved listening to songs you introduced. She would listen with you always (no matter the form - music, video, you playing the bass or guitar - did not matter - she would stop what she was doing to give you full attention and listen!).
Life in Technicolor, Lovers in Japan, and the anthemic Viva La Vida among other songs you loved and shared with us. It is ironic that this was an album from you. The full title is "Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends." It is a CD full of thoughts of life and death and their intertwined nature. Mylo Xyloto was released in 2011 and it was loved by you immediately. I wanted to join you in your likes - so I finally really listened and I joined the bandwagon seeing the cool music of ColdPlay, interesting message and almost worship-song like arrangements. My favorite is Major Minus. My music snobbery frustrates me now - I wish I joined your bandwagons faster and spent more time listening to YOUR music. I am sorry I cheated us out of that time.
When we looked at your computer for most played songs after you went Home, Paradise was number one by a wide margin. What a fitting song for you to love - you found the pathway from this broken world to the Paradise of our Lord, the courtyard of the King as Jesus told the thief on the cross. That day he met and walked with Jesus there. On April 19th, you joined our Savior and maybe the thief in that very same courtyard. It was the first song I chose for your Tribute soundtrack for your Celebration Service. I want to walk there with Jesus and with you. Can you tell me about Paradise more? I want to know where you live, what you are doing and the music you are making and sharing.
How I wish you would not have "run away" dreaming of Paradise! I listen to ColdPlay a lot now - it Hurts Like Heaven. I love the music and feel close to your as I listen - but it pains me deeply knowing that this music was so close to you and it came directly from you to me. I often cry listening to Paradise, Every Teardrop is a Waterfall down my face as I miss you, really miss you. Knowing the truth of Jesus, Coldplay is correct - "those who are not dead" as sung in "42." You are living with Jesus - you are not dead. But as ColdPlay sings, you are also "living in my head." I see you in the fields that we played frisbie, the basketball goal at home, schools you attended, places you played sports games, our street where we played - Mt. Bonnell, Zilker, Austin Stone, countless concert places - the list is endless. The Hardest Part is that Austin is a minefield of memories that sneak up and grab you. Yes, I feel Lost in memories sometimes, especially on a Rainy Day where I look for you running in the rain and dancing there. But especially when I listen to ColdPlay - every bass lick, each cool hook, layer atmospheric section - it screams your name. I want to Talk with you, share music, thoughts, time, hugs, a smile. Poppa Gene and others have said that you would say "Don't Let It Break Your Heart" - but your going Home does, everyday. We miss you so much Ian. Your Mom is really grieving - she misses her baby so much. I hear her crying and my heart breaks for her, for all of us; the space you left is huge and we feel the emptiness everyday. Caylea and Danny grieve too. I sense it is different for them - but they miss you tremendously. The rest of our family, your friends grieve as well. Just want you to know you are sorely missed. I can't change or lessen the pain - that is hard for someone who is bent on the "Fix You" thing. All I can do is give them to Jesus as I have you - He can make all things new. Death and All His Friends will not have the last word - redemption and eternal life is awaiting us.
I am selfish, I want you In My Place not in Paradise - accepting God's will is very hard. I do hear A Whisper from God telling me that all is okay, that we will share the hug, the smile, the memories in the Kingdom Come - that is A Hopeful Transmission. But as Tom Petty sang, "the waiting is the hardest part." Few things connect me to you as anytime Paradise, Viva La Vida or any other ColdPlay song hits the airways or on my playlist. These songs are close to you - and thus very close to me.
I am writing this after being in airports and airplanes all day listening to endless ColdPlay. I can barely hold it together. It is so bittersweet - I feel close to you, but I really feel your absence so acutely. Everything's Not Lost. Don't Panic, the future is just delayed.
I really miss you. Love you "e."
Dad
The Jazz Wall
Ian,
You are always full of surprises. When I think I understand or can figure you out - you make me expand my thinking and understanding. The origin of the Jazz Wall is one of those "emergent" situations where my expectations were met with your creativity.
We moved into our house in Austin and "assigned rooms." The small room doubled as Danny's room and the office, while you took the first room and Caylea the second - connected by the Jack and Jill bathroom. Personalization -that is what you guys wanted. For you, it was sports. At that time, entering into Jr. High, you were a basketball freak and interested in football, and really all sports. The plan was to paint the wall and have footballs, basketballs and other sports equipment to be cartooned on the wall. We needed paint. We got a brown for a football, orange for basketball and white and black for outlining. Aunt Shelley offered her overhead projector so that we could put an image on a wall that we could outline. Before we could paint, we went to either Michaels or Garden Ridge, probably the later, and looked for pictures, artwork, etc. for yours and Caylea's new rooms. You lit upon a set of paintings of musicians playing instruments. There were 2-3 5x7 and one large 11x13. We only have one remaining - your sister Caylea treasures it and has loaned it for our dining room right now. It is of an African American musician in a red coat playing a purple sax. The prints were lively, colorful and interesting. What surprised me is that you were into sports, into rock, into non-jazz music, but these prints of jazz musicians captured your attention. They would stay on your wall until several fell and broke and you moved rooms.
Mom and Caylea went out of town - probably to visit Aunt Shelley and left you and I to do your room. We had agreed to an accent wall on the far side. We used the grey primer to cover the wall. I like to paint, you loved to help and we banged through that quickly. I worked mainly on the edges using the ladder Mom had got me and you worked on the inside. Now came the color. We agreed that we were going to make the basketball color orange the base and paint the shapes on it and not have to fill in the basketball. So we got going. It took two coats to get it smooth - so we worked hard and our 12 foot ceilings are HIGH. It was a struggle to make it look good and not get on other walls - but we did okay. The color ended up being UT orange - you were thrilled. Now to do the football - the brown we picked up looked awful - kaka brown to be exact. That was NOT going to work. However, we could not stop - you wanted to finish. My question was finish what? You then presented your idea - put instruments on the wall - using the prints as the template. Okay, that sounded interesting - so we got to work.
We traced the guitar, trumpets, sax, and drums on paper. You then described how you wanted to arrange them - all surrounding a central space. I followed your lead and we projected, traced together with black paint from bottom left to bottom center - a sax, a snare drum, a trumpet, another sax, a kettle drum and a guitar. The guitar was especially cool looking but it and the kettle drum were right near the floor. Mom later pointed out that we could put nothing against the wall to block these the way we painted it. She was right. you wanted everything visible. Your bed would go under the first sax and only short things under the guitar and a chair could be farther in front of the drum - it was tall. Interesting, Caylea organized the room similarly - even with the Jazz wall gone after you moved to A&M. Now we had a orange wall with black outlines of instruments. Not much color. You then added the part I was not expecting. I thought you would put "Rock", or some other thing in the space. But true to the iconic pictures the wall was based on - you chose "JAZZ" to be on the wall. Indeed, you designed it with Kiss "S" looking like backward z's. You took the lead to project and trace. My contribution was white shadowing. In the end, it really looked cool. We were so excited about our accomplishment.
I think everyone like the wall - it was a organizational pain due to the low "major" pictures frustrating decorating strategies, but it was unique, cool and creative - all who you are! Your friends loved it and were amazed that you could "design your own room." The Jazz wall lasted a long time - until you moved out of the room to go into Caylea's room. When Caylea moved back, we took pictures of you and the wall - a handsome, muscular senior - a big change from the skinny cute 7th grader who conceived and painted the wall. What a marker of your growing up those pictures were - how you matured, grown and became - but how you maintained your individuality, cool-ness and creativity!!!
I wish we did more projects like that! We did several - but the Jazz wall holds a very special place in this Dad's heart.
Love you "e"
Dad
You are always full of surprises. When I think I understand or can figure you out - you make me expand my thinking and understanding. The origin of the Jazz Wall is one of those "emergent" situations where my expectations were met with your creativity.
We moved into our house in Austin and "assigned rooms." The small room doubled as Danny's room and the office, while you took the first room and Caylea the second - connected by the Jack and Jill bathroom. Personalization -that is what you guys wanted. For you, it was sports. At that time, entering into Jr. High, you were a basketball freak and interested in football, and really all sports. The plan was to paint the wall and have footballs, basketballs and other sports equipment to be cartooned on the wall. We needed paint. We got a brown for a football, orange for basketball and white and black for outlining. Aunt Shelley offered her overhead projector so that we could put an image on a wall that we could outline. Before we could paint, we went to either Michaels or Garden Ridge, probably the later, and looked for pictures, artwork, etc. for yours and Caylea's new rooms. You lit upon a set of paintings of musicians playing instruments. There were 2-3 5x7 and one large 11x13. We only have one remaining - your sister Caylea treasures it and has loaned it for our dining room right now. It is of an African American musician in a red coat playing a purple sax. The prints were lively, colorful and interesting. What surprised me is that you were into sports, into rock, into non-jazz music, but these prints of jazz musicians captured your attention. They would stay on your wall until several fell and broke and you moved rooms.
Mom and Caylea went out of town - probably to visit Aunt Shelley and left you and I to do your room. We had agreed to an accent wall on the far side. We used the grey primer to cover the wall. I like to paint, you loved to help and we banged through that quickly. I worked mainly on the edges using the ladder Mom had got me and you worked on the inside. Now came the color. We agreed that we were going to make the basketball color orange the base and paint the shapes on it and not have to fill in the basketball. So we got going. It took two coats to get it smooth - so we worked hard and our 12 foot ceilings are HIGH. It was a struggle to make it look good and not get on other walls - but we did okay. The color ended up being UT orange - you were thrilled. Now to do the football - the brown we picked up looked awful - kaka brown to be exact. That was NOT going to work. However, we could not stop - you wanted to finish. My question was finish what? You then presented your idea - put instruments on the wall - using the prints as the template. Okay, that sounded interesting - so we got to work.
We traced the guitar, trumpets, sax, and drums on paper. You then described how you wanted to arrange them - all surrounding a central space. I followed your lead and we projected, traced together with black paint from bottom left to bottom center - a sax, a snare drum, a trumpet, another sax, a kettle drum and a guitar. The guitar was especially cool looking but it and the kettle drum were right near the floor. Mom later pointed out that we could put nothing against the wall to block these the way we painted it. She was right. you wanted everything visible. Your bed would go under the first sax and only short things under the guitar and a chair could be farther in front of the drum - it was tall. Interesting, Caylea organized the room similarly - even with the Jazz wall gone after you moved to A&M. Now we had a orange wall with black outlines of instruments. Not much color. You then added the part I was not expecting. I thought you would put "Rock", or some other thing in the space. But true to the iconic pictures the wall was based on - you chose "JAZZ" to be on the wall. Indeed, you designed it with Kiss "S" looking like backward z's. You took the lead to project and trace. My contribution was white shadowing. In the end, it really looked cool. We were so excited about our accomplishment.
I think everyone like the wall - it was a organizational pain due to the low "major" pictures frustrating decorating strategies, but it was unique, cool and creative - all who you are! Your friends loved it and were amazed that you could "design your own room." The Jazz wall lasted a long time - until you moved out of the room to go into Caylea's room. When Caylea moved back, we took pictures of you and the wall - a handsome, muscular senior - a big change from the skinny cute 7th grader who conceived and painted the wall. What a marker of your growing up those pictures were - how you matured, grown and became - but how you maintained your individuality, cool-ness and creativity!!!
I wish we did more projects like that! We did several - but the Jazz wall holds a very special place in this Dad's heart.
Love you "e"
Dad
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Skillet - Hey Ian, I Love Your Soul!
Ian,
We are a family that loves music. It seems like we have taken turns introducing the family to "favorites." Another email will detail the favorites you introduced us to - indeed - your brother Danny and I listened to some of the music you introduced us to as we returned from the Texan-Patriot game this weekend. Texan's games - that is indeed another subject! Your Aunt Shelley sent great pictures from the two games you attended with Nate.
Although we don't listen to them much now, there was a time when Skillet was THE band for our family. I received a sampler CD with "Best Kept Secret" on it when Danny was in 7th grade. It was an immediate hit in the Jr High group at Crossroads Christian Church where we attended. The dynamic changes, the driving beat and the truth of the lyrics caught everyone's attention - including yours! You were probably 5 when Skillet hit our home airways and you were an immediate fan. We found the CD's in the Christian bookstore and quickly became experts - if I remember right, Caylea and I stuck with "Invincible" while you and Danny liked "Hey You, I Love Your Soul" best. The first CD had a few good songs - Danny mostly listened to it. Mom - she liked you kids showing her songs - it did not matter what. It was the interaction, the sharing and the joy on your faces that has always driven her.
I remember the first day we had the Suburban, we packed you kids up and the Mundells and headed up to Truckee to see Skillet play live. We jammed to our favorites, danced and maybe headbanged a little. Then they surprised us, they broke into an amazing worship set - and all of us joined in praising our King. Jon Cooper, the lead singer and bassist - wonder if he played some role inspiring you to play bass? - preached the Gospel. We were amazed that a band could rock so hard, worship in such an inspired manner and be so clear with the Gospel. Great way to break in a new car and enjoy music.
I think that there was another time we saw Skillet play live - but I forget where. The big concert was at Spirit West Coast. It was one we attended with the Scotts - if I remember right - camping out, we always loved camping as a family, and excited to see DC Talk, Jars of Clay and, of course Skillet!!! We also saw Switchfoot for the first time at that Spirit West Coast - I think. They were the NEXT favorite band as a family. More on that later... Anyway, Skillet went on mid afternoon on the main stage and I suggested we go down from the stands (where we were sitting, napping on, etc) and go down in front of the stage. Well that was not the best idea. You were pretty short, I am not that tall, and the crowd was thick!!! I don't know where Danny was - maybe in the crowd elsewhere or with Aaron Scott getting his hat signed by artists! Anyway, we jammed to our favorites and I held you up to see. I remember that Jon "spun" his bass around in a circle - we heard about that before, but never saw it before.
Just as the concert was really going, Jon Cooper stopped it and said that he felt the Spirit compel him to present the Gospel - so he preached, and preached. Don't remember the content - but it was about salvation being found in Jesus to be sure. When he was finished - he asked for anyone to accept Christ as Savior to raise their hands. You tugged at my shirt and said "Dad, I want to be a Christian." There are few things a kid can say to make a parent more excited. I asked you why? You said because you were a sinner and needed to be forgiven by Jesus. You then raised your hand. I picked you up and you followed Jon's lead praying to accept Jesus as your Savior. Wow! I was so excited. After the prayer - we were ready to really rock! But time was up and Jon and Skillet apologetically left the main stage. How thankful I am that Jon listened to the Spirit's leading and preached the Gospel instead of playing more music - God got your soul and your are His forever. The legacy of Skillet came through you all the rest of your life as you sought after a true, growing relationship with Jesus.
We saw Skillet one more time - at Crossroads for our Jr High Summer Camp. We, Danny, Caylea, Mom and I got to help them set up, and we watched excited as our friends got to see the concert blast out our favorites and new songs from "Alien Youth." I am sure that we all shook Jon and the bands hands as they came to the church. We were excited that they were at our home. We got "Alien Youth" bumper stickers from the concert. One of those stickers found its way to bedroom door in Texas - as you proudly continued to Skillet fan even as we left CA. I think we saw them one more time with their new guitarist in CA - but the legacy of Skillet had already took root. They were the tool God ordained for you to hear His call, experience His love and be His child. How thankful I am for Skillet and their legacy in all of us.
Love you "e" - miss you every day!
Dad
We are a family that loves music. It seems like we have taken turns introducing the family to "favorites." Another email will detail the favorites you introduced us to - indeed - your brother Danny and I listened to some of the music you introduced us to as we returned from the Texan-Patriot game this weekend. Texan's games - that is indeed another subject! Your Aunt Shelley sent great pictures from the two games you attended with Nate.
Although we don't listen to them much now, there was a time when Skillet was THE band for our family. I received a sampler CD with "Best Kept Secret" on it when Danny was in 7th grade. It was an immediate hit in the Jr High group at Crossroads Christian Church where we attended. The dynamic changes, the driving beat and the truth of the lyrics caught everyone's attention - including yours! You were probably 5 when Skillet hit our home airways and you were an immediate fan. We found the CD's in the Christian bookstore and quickly became experts - if I remember right, Caylea and I stuck with "Invincible" while you and Danny liked "Hey You, I Love Your Soul" best. The first CD had a few good songs - Danny mostly listened to it. Mom - she liked you kids showing her songs - it did not matter what. It was the interaction, the sharing and the joy on your faces that has always driven her.
I remember the first day we had the Suburban, we packed you kids up and the Mundells and headed up to Truckee to see Skillet play live. We jammed to our favorites, danced and maybe headbanged a little. Then they surprised us, they broke into an amazing worship set - and all of us joined in praising our King. Jon Cooper, the lead singer and bassist - wonder if he played some role inspiring you to play bass? - preached the Gospel. We were amazed that a band could rock so hard, worship in such an inspired manner and be so clear with the Gospel. Great way to break in a new car and enjoy music.
I think that there was another time we saw Skillet play live - but I forget where. The big concert was at Spirit West Coast. It was one we attended with the Scotts - if I remember right - camping out, we always loved camping as a family, and excited to see DC Talk, Jars of Clay and, of course Skillet!!! We also saw Switchfoot for the first time at that Spirit West Coast - I think. They were the NEXT favorite band as a family. More on that later... Anyway, Skillet went on mid afternoon on the main stage and I suggested we go down from the stands (where we were sitting, napping on, etc) and go down in front of the stage. Well that was not the best idea. You were pretty short, I am not that tall, and the crowd was thick!!! I don't know where Danny was - maybe in the crowd elsewhere or with Aaron Scott getting his hat signed by artists! Anyway, we jammed to our favorites and I held you up to see. I remember that Jon "spun" his bass around in a circle - we heard about that before, but never saw it before.
Just as the concert was really going, Jon Cooper stopped it and said that he felt the Spirit compel him to present the Gospel - so he preached, and preached. Don't remember the content - but it was about salvation being found in Jesus to be sure. When he was finished - he asked for anyone to accept Christ as Savior to raise their hands. You tugged at my shirt and said "Dad, I want to be a Christian." There are few things a kid can say to make a parent more excited. I asked you why? You said because you were a sinner and needed to be forgiven by Jesus. You then raised your hand. I picked you up and you followed Jon's lead praying to accept Jesus as your Savior. Wow! I was so excited. After the prayer - we were ready to really rock! But time was up and Jon and Skillet apologetically left the main stage. How thankful I am that Jon listened to the Spirit's leading and preached the Gospel instead of playing more music - God got your soul and your are His forever. The legacy of Skillet came through you all the rest of your life as you sought after a true, growing relationship with Jesus.
We saw Skillet one more time - at Crossroads for our Jr High Summer Camp. We, Danny, Caylea, Mom and I got to help them set up, and we watched excited as our friends got to see the concert blast out our favorites and new songs from "Alien Youth." I am sure that we all shook Jon and the bands hands as they came to the church. We were excited that they were at our home. We got "Alien Youth" bumper stickers from the concert. One of those stickers found its way to bedroom door in Texas - as you proudly continued to Skillet fan even as we left CA. I think we saw them one more time with their new guitarist in CA - but the legacy of Skillet had already took root. They were the tool God ordained for you to hear His call, experience His love and be His child. How thankful I am for Skillet and their legacy in all of us.
Love you "e" - miss you every day!
Dad
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
UT
Ian,
I know that you end up being an Aggie, you started as a Longhorn. Mom and I started as Aggies and then became Longhorns. Caylea and Danny - seemed to just start and stick with the burnt orange.
Your relationship with UT really began in front of a TV watching the 2005 National Championship game. You could often be a "bandwagoner" and were definitely cheering for Reggie Bush and USC. We did not watch a great deal of football over the years - compared with basketball - but this was a game we watch, as usual, with the Mundells. You were in 5th grade - and it was the biggest stage. I chose to root for UT - because it was Texas and not a silver spoon school in SoCal. Kurt was with you and USC - he always has an opinion. Mike and Danny really didn't care - to my memory. The game was - epic. You talked trash about how great Matt Leinart and Reggie were - that UT had no chance. It looked like you were right for much of the game, although UT kept it close. When it seemed USC was destined to win, UT won on the brilliant scramble by Vince Young as time ran out. We all were exhausted by the game. We chattered about the game for days. None of us could guess we would be in Austin in a little more than a year.
Indeed, we moved into Austin in July 2006. I was thrilled to have a job, and was a big "joineriner" to match your "bandwagoner" self. I remember buying you a UT basketball jersey during one of my visits for the UT job - #10. You were thrilled and wore it proudly with your friends. You researched Longhorn basketball and informed me that the National Player of the Year - TJ Ford was from UT. That was exciting to you for sure.
UT was introduced first at Memorial Student Center - the Underground and blacklight bowling. That was a favorite pastime - we even did one of your birthday parties in Jr. High there. We crowded 25+ friends around two lanes, then the air hockey tables, etc. We opened gifts and celebrated - some of your friends though it was old hat, but others seemed to have their first deep UT experience at that party.
We attended some UT home games that first year - before getting season tickets. They were the "wait in line" random tickets. I remember one set we were on the 20 yard line, student side maybe 15 rows from the bottom. How we got those tickets - I will never know. That was Colt McCoy's record setting freshman year. How we loved watching Colt run the Longhorn offense. I remember two things - first, a long pass Colt threw after a turnover - long pass to the wide receiver. He seemed to catch it right in front of us, elude the tackle and score! We high fived and rejoiced. The Horns were running away with the game, so we scooted down to the front of the stadium and saw how BIG the players really were. I was a little intimidated. You wanted to play football.
On Halloween night in 2006, Danny was in from California - and you were dying to see the Horns basketball team. They had an exhibition game that night. Danny, Caylea and I wanted to walk on 6th Street and see the weird people - Mom was unsure, but you had to see the game. We went - it was a free game and we sat on the first deck - the family behind and you and I up as close as possible. They introduced the UT team, four freshman and a sophomore. I asked you if this was the "B" team and you were quick to tell me that this guy Kevin Durant was rated as the top recruit in the US and chose UT. From that night on - we saw every UT homegame that season watching another UT freshman rewrite the record books - Durant. Your first introduction to Texas A&M was another epic, 3 overtime game, between UT and A&M - actually Durant versus AC Law. Durant and Law poured in shots from 3 point land, exchanging buckets, playing each other on defense, and no one could stop either player. Finally, UT pulled it out in the third overtime. I still remember the good hearted competition between the schools - the Aggie War Hymn, and we ALWAYS stayed to sing the "Eyes of Texas" with the Horns after a game. Football games, we loved walking across campus, after singing the "Eyes" and seeing the Tower lit up orange signifying a win. We never won a National Championship - came close twice with Colt, but always short. Bummer. Watching Alabama play UT was interesting. You really liked Trent Richardson - who won the Heisman. You seemed to root for Alabama - urked me. Early, the game looked to be ours - but Colt was bizarrely hurt and we never could capitalize on turnovers to build up a lead to win. Alas, Alabama was victorious; Richardson was the hero; you made sure I remembered who you predicted would win!
With Jr High activities and High School, time to go to football games, basketball games or other things at UT became more rare. Only once did we go to the Cactus Cafe, but we continued to watch several UT football games each year - you would often invite Jonathan, Jimmy, Max, etc. to go with us. One game, you and Max were going and were wearing random shirts - we stopped at the COOP and bought you both UT shirts - we had to come early, stay late, be loud and wear orange! It was in Jr. High that you went to your first A&M game. You went with Adam Lawson and his father who had season tickets. You were committed to wear UT orange proudly to show off to the Ags. Mom encouraged you to embrace the experience. You DID! It was one of those games that the Ags were blown off the field in the first half, but came back to tie at the end of the game. The overtime victory took two or three periods. So the game was exciting, but the weather was HOT!!! It was something like 105 there - by the end of the game, the few fans remaining, you among them, traveled around the stadium in unison with clouds and shade. Mom and I watched the game on TV - it was hilarious. You came home exhausted, but I could see that the Aggie experience had grabbed you - you were destined to be an Ag from that time forward.
Much like your sister, UT was viewed as not that special and going off to other schools, Pittsburgh or A&M was much more exciting. But Mr. Farrar gave you a tour and you saw the campus with new eyes and wanted to attend. Bummer they gave you the "go to UTSA freshman year" then apply to UT Austin option. Going to Gateway and having a true freshman experience at A&M was too good to pass up. So almost went to a UT, but alas, no.
You did take your Senior Pictures and our Family pictures around campus - among other places. poising in front of the church across from campus was not so memorable - the pictures were not as "cool" as we thought they could be - but they were evocative. Indeed, they were perfect as we remembered your heart. The family pictures were such fun - we poised, you clowned, Caylea stressed to go back to class, and you and Danny and Caylea were the perfect trinity of kids - beautiful/handsome, fun, smart and loving. What great memories and pictures to boot.
You would bring your friends from A&M to see Austin - Mt. Bonnell, Zilker, UT campus to see the Tower and poise for pictures with your Gig 'Em thumbs up. You and Will attended the Thanksgiving game in 2012 - UT versus TCU. It was a BAD UT game, but you cousins had a great time as you showed him around the campus and the stadium. The last significant time at UT was Easter this year - we were at the Erwin Center, where we watched so many games, but the Stone was having the big Easter Service. Mom and Caylea were working with kids, so you, Brenda and I worshiped together. It was a long year - going to get MUCH longer - but worship was a release. You were so honest, so involved - I was inspired. We left and Brenda asked me to take your picture with her looking over the city. We then met at Taco More to prove to Brenda Austin had authentic Mexican food.
I think back and remember the laughs, the smiles, the walks, the sports and life conversations, the bad bowling, the friends, the singing, the great player and games - I mainly remember my son - who went with me to events at UT, who was my friend, my companion, whose presence allowed me to see more and do more. Oh how I wish you stayed home!!! How I wish you were a Longhorn. Maybe you would be reading this with me and we would be joking and laughing. But God had other plans, glorious plans to send you to A&M and you transformed lives showing the Gospel in everything you did there - impacting more lives in one year than I have in seven in Austin. What do I say Ian - I miss you more than words can say, but I am thankful that we shared so much at UT. Seeing the campus, the buildings, the games, reminds me of these times and my tears may fall, but my heart is thankful.
Love you E,
Dad
I know that you end up being an Aggie, you started as a Longhorn. Mom and I started as Aggies and then became Longhorns. Caylea and Danny - seemed to just start and stick with the burnt orange.
Your relationship with UT really began in front of a TV watching the 2005 National Championship game. You could often be a "bandwagoner" and were definitely cheering for Reggie Bush and USC. We did not watch a great deal of football over the years - compared with basketball - but this was a game we watch, as usual, with the Mundells. You were in 5th grade - and it was the biggest stage. I chose to root for UT - because it was Texas and not a silver spoon school in SoCal. Kurt was with you and USC - he always has an opinion. Mike and Danny really didn't care - to my memory. The game was - epic. You talked trash about how great Matt Leinart and Reggie were - that UT had no chance. It looked like you were right for much of the game, although UT kept it close. When it seemed USC was destined to win, UT won on the brilliant scramble by Vince Young as time ran out. We all were exhausted by the game. We chattered about the game for days. None of us could guess we would be in Austin in a little more than a year.
Indeed, we moved into Austin in July 2006. I was thrilled to have a job, and was a big "joineriner" to match your "bandwagoner" self. I remember buying you a UT basketball jersey during one of my visits for the UT job - #10. You were thrilled and wore it proudly with your friends. You researched Longhorn basketball and informed me that the National Player of the Year - TJ Ford was from UT. That was exciting to you for sure.
UT was introduced first at Memorial Student Center - the Underground and blacklight bowling. That was a favorite pastime - we even did one of your birthday parties in Jr. High there. We crowded 25+ friends around two lanes, then the air hockey tables, etc. We opened gifts and celebrated - some of your friends though it was old hat, but others seemed to have their first deep UT experience at that party.
We attended some UT home games that first year - before getting season tickets. They were the "wait in line" random tickets. I remember one set we were on the 20 yard line, student side maybe 15 rows from the bottom. How we got those tickets - I will never know. That was Colt McCoy's record setting freshman year. How we loved watching Colt run the Longhorn offense. I remember two things - first, a long pass Colt threw after a turnover - long pass to the wide receiver. He seemed to catch it right in front of us, elude the tackle and score! We high fived and rejoiced. The Horns were running away with the game, so we scooted down to the front of the stadium and saw how BIG the players really were. I was a little intimidated. You wanted to play football.
On Halloween night in 2006, Danny was in from California - and you were dying to see the Horns basketball team. They had an exhibition game that night. Danny, Caylea and I wanted to walk on 6th Street and see the weird people - Mom was unsure, but you had to see the game. We went - it was a free game and we sat on the first deck - the family behind and you and I up as close as possible. They introduced the UT team, four freshman and a sophomore. I asked you if this was the "B" team and you were quick to tell me that this guy Kevin Durant was rated as the top recruit in the US and chose UT. From that night on - we saw every UT homegame that season watching another UT freshman rewrite the record books - Durant. Your first introduction to Texas A&M was another epic, 3 overtime game, between UT and A&M - actually Durant versus AC Law. Durant and Law poured in shots from 3 point land, exchanging buckets, playing each other on defense, and no one could stop either player. Finally, UT pulled it out in the third overtime. I still remember the good hearted competition between the schools - the Aggie War Hymn, and we ALWAYS stayed to sing the "Eyes of Texas" with the Horns after a game. Football games, we loved walking across campus, after singing the "Eyes" and seeing the Tower lit up orange signifying a win. We never won a National Championship - came close twice with Colt, but always short. Bummer. Watching Alabama play UT was interesting. You really liked Trent Richardson - who won the Heisman. You seemed to root for Alabama - urked me. Early, the game looked to be ours - but Colt was bizarrely hurt and we never could capitalize on turnovers to build up a lead to win. Alas, Alabama was victorious; Richardson was the hero; you made sure I remembered who you predicted would win!
With Jr High activities and High School, time to go to football games, basketball games or other things at UT became more rare. Only once did we go to the Cactus Cafe, but we continued to watch several UT football games each year - you would often invite Jonathan, Jimmy, Max, etc. to go with us. One game, you and Max were going and were wearing random shirts - we stopped at the COOP and bought you both UT shirts - we had to come early, stay late, be loud and wear orange! It was in Jr. High that you went to your first A&M game. You went with Adam Lawson and his father who had season tickets. You were committed to wear UT orange proudly to show off to the Ags. Mom encouraged you to embrace the experience. You DID! It was one of those games that the Ags were blown off the field in the first half, but came back to tie at the end of the game. The overtime victory took two or three periods. So the game was exciting, but the weather was HOT!!! It was something like 105 there - by the end of the game, the few fans remaining, you among them, traveled around the stadium in unison with clouds and shade. Mom and I watched the game on TV - it was hilarious. You came home exhausted, but I could see that the Aggie experience had grabbed you - you were destined to be an Ag from that time forward.
Much like your sister, UT was viewed as not that special and going off to other schools, Pittsburgh or A&M was much more exciting. But Mr. Farrar gave you a tour and you saw the campus with new eyes and wanted to attend. Bummer they gave you the "go to UTSA freshman year" then apply to UT Austin option. Going to Gateway and having a true freshman experience at A&M was too good to pass up. So almost went to a UT, but alas, no.
You did take your Senior Pictures and our Family pictures around campus - among other places. poising in front of the church across from campus was not so memorable - the pictures were not as "cool" as we thought they could be - but they were evocative. Indeed, they were perfect as we remembered your heart. The family pictures were such fun - we poised, you clowned, Caylea stressed to go back to class, and you and Danny and Caylea were the perfect trinity of kids - beautiful/handsome, fun, smart and loving. What great memories and pictures to boot.
You would bring your friends from A&M to see Austin - Mt. Bonnell, Zilker, UT campus to see the Tower and poise for pictures with your Gig 'Em thumbs up. You and Will attended the Thanksgiving game in 2012 - UT versus TCU. It was a BAD UT game, but you cousins had a great time as you showed him around the campus and the stadium. The last significant time at UT was Easter this year - we were at the Erwin Center, where we watched so many games, but the Stone was having the big Easter Service. Mom and Caylea were working with kids, so you, Brenda and I worshiped together. It was a long year - going to get MUCH longer - but worship was a release. You were so honest, so involved - I was inspired. We left and Brenda asked me to take your picture with her looking over the city. We then met at Taco More to prove to Brenda Austin had authentic Mexican food.
I think back and remember the laughs, the smiles, the walks, the sports and life conversations, the bad bowling, the friends, the singing, the great player and games - I mainly remember my son - who went with me to events at UT, who was my friend, my companion, whose presence allowed me to see more and do more. Oh how I wish you stayed home!!! How I wish you were a Longhorn. Maybe you would be reading this with me and we would be joking and laughing. But God had other plans, glorious plans to send you to A&M and you transformed lives showing the Gospel in everything you did there - impacting more lives in one year than I have in seven in Austin. What do I say Ian - I miss you more than words can say, but I am thankful that we shared so much at UT. Seeing the campus, the buildings, the games, reminds me of these times and my tears may fall, but my heart is thankful.
Love you E,
Dad
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
The Rec
Ian,
The Rec always was important to you - from our first visit to College Station, that was THE place you wanted to visit. I was busy pushing to see the Memorial Student Center, Kyle Field, Sully, the Bonfire Memorial - we did see these things, but you wanted to visit the Rec. A cute girl - a friend of a friend - gave us a tour, but you wanted to know more about the Rec and working out - not her. You could obsess about things! We arrived that first time at the Rec and we asked if we could go on a tour. They let us wander around. How thrilled you were to see the size, complexity and variety in the weight room. We were not to "lift" and I could barely keep you off the machines and the weights. We then looked at the rachetball courts, running track, swimming pool. They loaned us a basketball and we shot together. I remembered all the evenings we played basketball in the driveway - shooting, playing one on one, watching you with your friends play, dunk contests. It all flooded back to me - those day were so precious, but you were moving on. What thankfulness welled up in my heart for you, for the things we shared, and we shot, played a little one on one, and you beat me silly!!!
When you moved in to the dorm for Gateway, it was all I could do to keep you focused - get your ID, get your key, move your stuff in, arrange the room - because you wanted to immediately go to the Rec. The prospect of that weight room being yours - was too much for you to handle. That first evening, we attended the event at the Alumni Center. Tons of people were there and we were "cross dressed" nice enough to be there, but ready for the Rec. We poised for pictures under the Big Ring. I wanted a picture with you and you practically crawled in my arms and flung yourself back - the picture was dark, but I think it captures our laughter and joy. I was intent on you seeing the things in the Center - you were concerned with the girls greeting everyone. It was hot, College Station hot, and you waited in the long concession line to get punch and cookies for the girls. They were shocked that someone was serving them! Let alone such a cute freshman guy - I bet each rethought their boundaries to date freshman at that moment. Once again, the picture I have does not capture their surprise, their joy - but it shows your perceptive and generous heart. Makes a dad very proud! We looked at history of the rings and then headed to the Rec - our real goal all along.
The Rec weight room was all you dreamed it to be - many options for machines, free weights, and other workout equipment. We worked out hard - following your regime and then you wanted to run. How I hate running - how I wish I ran with you more - but we ran and ran. I was amazed with your energy and endurance. I was sucking wind and you were sprinting. What a physical specimen you were! After the Rec we retired to the dorm room. Your roommate was staying with friends and so he let me sleep in his bunk. We had them maximally high so the desks had max head room. We seemed 12 inches from the ceiling and NO guard rail. I tucked in my sheets on the non-wall side to help prevent the long fall to the floor.
The next morning we got up and did breakfast in dorm area and headed to Gateway activities. That evening it was back to the Rec. The walk from Kyle field, under Welborne, emerging looking at the parking garage ahead and the path to the Rec to the left is impressed on my mind. It was our daily path leading to our routine of working out and running. We tried to finish all our list - get you registered with the disabilities office - I don't think that ever got finished. We saw presentations about the Corps, classes, student services. I thought you may rethink and join the Corps for a day. But that passed. Each morning and afternoon we threw the blue frisbee in the Quad outside the Corps dorms. Sometimes people would join in, most of the time they would watch. I was so proud that my son would play with me still - that he would focus this time with me. What a son! We also threw the disc as you went to class and I hung out waiting for you to finish. I still remember after you signed up for classes, I was to head back to Austin and you planned to head back to the Rec that evening.
From Tresten and Brendon, etc., once in Moses, you continued the Rec activities. We worked out when we moved you in - Mom took a break, but we walked through the passage under Welborn and to the Rec and back. It was a longer walk for sure from Moses. But to you, the Rec was worth every step. We texted about your workouts during your time in College Station; we discussed by phone; you apparently were a legend there.
On Parent's Weekend, we worked out the last time together at the Rec. I ran from the B&B to meet you and Brenda there. I ran under the passage again, noting the bikes, the people trafficking around me - I was intent on seeing you. We met - you were late - Brenda looking so proud to be with you. We discussed workout strategies. For the first time, you agreed to follow mine. We used a 30 lb dumbell as a kettlebell and did my full cardio weight workout. Brenda used a smaller weight. You were exhausted as we finished. I tried to act like I was okay - but I was worn out too. You then insisted that we finish with deadlifts - something that you were focused on recently. They nearly wiped me out. We waited to finish with pull ups - you were impressive with your form and number as always - at the end of the workout no less! I struggled. Brenda finished strong. We parted ways and you headed back to the dorm to clean up. Our evening at the coffee shop and the next day will be part of another story. But our time at the Rec was awesome.
Coming back to the Rec this past week for the blood drive was tough. I did not realize that I parked Danny and I such that we had to walk next to the passage under Welborn. The thought, the vision, the feeling of walking with you through this passage so many times to the Rec overwhelmed me. I could not, would not again. Danny and I entered the Rec and were greeted by your friends - they love and miss you greatly. During the drive that provided materials for 90 people, girls you smiled at in Moses, people who heard about you, people alerted by the University President's Tweets, your closest friends all came and gave. Trestin, John and others looked more buff than ever - following your example working out at the Rec. You loved smoothies and we bought Smoothie King for everyone. A small gift in response to their gift. Jeremy the managr of Smoothie King told mom and I how you visited him every day in Sbisa. You bought a smoothie every few days, but always said Hello. We know you talked about working there often. He spoke of what a quality young man you were - one that stuck out in his memory and his saddness learning that you have gone home. I wandered around the Rec - reliving our lifts, our runs, our basketball, our watching racketball players, swimmers - it was overwhelming the sweet memories that flooded back. How I miss you Ian - I have no words. I walked to move Danny's car and paused at the passageway - remembering again our walks for a year - from our first visits to April - to go to the Rec. I swelled with pride in who you are, with the lives you have impacted, the joys we shared.
Thank you Ian for sharing the Rec with me. There is so much more, but this is a start to keep these memories alive.
Love you Ian,
dad
The Rec always was important to you - from our first visit to College Station, that was THE place you wanted to visit. I was busy pushing to see the Memorial Student Center, Kyle Field, Sully, the Bonfire Memorial - we did see these things, but you wanted to visit the Rec. A cute girl - a friend of a friend - gave us a tour, but you wanted to know more about the Rec and working out - not her. You could obsess about things! We arrived that first time at the Rec and we asked if we could go on a tour. They let us wander around. How thrilled you were to see the size, complexity and variety in the weight room. We were not to "lift" and I could barely keep you off the machines and the weights. We then looked at the rachetball courts, running track, swimming pool. They loaned us a basketball and we shot together. I remembered all the evenings we played basketball in the driveway - shooting, playing one on one, watching you with your friends play, dunk contests. It all flooded back to me - those day were so precious, but you were moving on. What thankfulness welled up in my heart for you, for the things we shared, and we shot, played a little one on one, and you beat me silly!!!
When you moved in to the dorm for Gateway, it was all I could do to keep you focused - get your ID, get your key, move your stuff in, arrange the room - because you wanted to immediately go to the Rec. The prospect of that weight room being yours - was too much for you to handle. That first evening, we attended the event at the Alumni Center. Tons of people were there and we were "cross dressed" nice enough to be there, but ready for the Rec. We poised for pictures under the Big Ring. I wanted a picture with you and you practically crawled in my arms and flung yourself back - the picture was dark, but I think it captures our laughter and joy. I was intent on you seeing the things in the Center - you were concerned with the girls greeting everyone. It was hot, College Station hot, and you waited in the long concession line to get punch and cookies for the girls. They were shocked that someone was serving them! Let alone such a cute freshman guy - I bet each rethought their boundaries to date freshman at that moment. Once again, the picture I have does not capture their surprise, their joy - but it shows your perceptive and generous heart. Makes a dad very proud! We looked at history of the rings and then headed to the Rec - our real goal all along.
The Rec weight room was all you dreamed it to be - many options for machines, free weights, and other workout equipment. We worked out hard - following your regime and then you wanted to run. How I hate running - how I wish I ran with you more - but we ran and ran. I was amazed with your energy and endurance. I was sucking wind and you were sprinting. What a physical specimen you were! After the Rec we retired to the dorm room. Your roommate was staying with friends and so he let me sleep in his bunk. We had them maximally high so the desks had max head room. We seemed 12 inches from the ceiling and NO guard rail. I tucked in my sheets on the non-wall side to help prevent the long fall to the floor.
The next morning we got up and did breakfast in dorm area and headed to Gateway activities. That evening it was back to the Rec. The walk from Kyle field, under Welborne, emerging looking at the parking garage ahead and the path to the Rec to the left is impressed on my mind. It was our daily path leading to our routine of working out and running. We tried to finish all our list - get you registered with the disabilities office - I don't think that ever got finished. We saw presentations about the Corps, classes, student services. I thought you may rethink and join the Corps for a day. But that passed. Each morning and afternoon we threw the blue frisbee in the Quad outside the Corps dorms. Sometimes people would join in, most of the time they would watch. I was so proud that my son would play with me still - that he would focus this time with me. What a son! We also threw the disc as you went to class and I hung out waiting for you to finish. I still remember after you signed up for classes, I was to head back to Austin and you planned to head back to the Rec that evening.
From Tresten and Brendon, etc., once in Moses, you continued the Rec activities. We worked out when we moved you in - Mom took a break, but we walked through the passage under Welborn and to the Rec and back. It was a longer walk for sure from Moses. But to you, the Rec was worth every step. We texted about your workouts during your time in College Station; we discussed by phone; you apparently were a legend there.
On Parent's Weekend, we worked out the last time together at the Rec. I ran from the B&B to meet you and Brenda there. I ran under the passage again, noting the bikes, the people trafficking around me - I was intent on seeing you. We met - you were late - Brenda looking so proud to be with you. We discussed workout strategies. For the first time, you agreed to follow mine. We used a 30 lb dumbell as a kettlebell and did my full cardio weight workout. Brenda used a smaller weight. You were exhausted as we finished. I tried to act like I was okay - but I was worn out too. You then insisted that we finish with deadlifts - something that you were focused on recently. They nearly wiped me out. We waited to finish with pull ups - you were impressive with your form and number as always - at the end of the workout no less! I struggled. Brenda finished strong. We parted ways and you headed back to the dorm to clean up. Our evening at the coffee shop and the next day will be part of another story. But our time at the Rec was awesome.
Coming back to the Rec this past week for the blood drive was tough. I did not realize that I parked Danny and I such that we had to walk next to the passage under Welborn. The thought, the vision, the feeling of walking with you through this passage so many times to the Rec overwhelmed me. I could not, would not again. Danny and I entered the Rec and were greeted by your friends - they love and miss you greatly. During the drive that provided materials for 90 people, girls you smiled at in Moses, people who heard about you, people alerted by the University President's Tweets, your closest friends all came and gave. Trestin, John and others looked more buff than ever - following your example working out at the Rec. You loved smoothies and we bought Smoothie King for everyone. A small gift in response to their gift. Jeremy the managr of Smoothie King told mom and I how you visited him every day in Sbisa. You bought a smoothie every few days, but always said Hello. We know you talked about working there often. He spoke of what a quality young man you were - one that stuck out in his memory and his saddness learning that you have gone home. I wandered around the Rec - reliving our lifts, our runs, our basketball, our watching racketball players, swimmers - it was overwhelming the sweet memories that flooded back. How I miss you Ian - I have no words. I walked to move Danny's car and paused at the passageway - remembering again our walks for a year - from our first visits to April - to go to the Rec. I swelled with pride in who you are, with the lives you have impacted, the joys we shared.
Thank you Ian for sharing the Rec with me. There is so much more, but this is a start to keep these memories alive.
Love you Ian,
dad
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Five months in no-man's land...
Five months in no-man's land...
I feel stuck between yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Yesterday - the Beatles said it well:
"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away;
Now it looks as though they're here to stay;
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be;
There's a shadow hanging over me;
Oh, yesterday came suddenly."
Five months ago yesterday became a dream, a wish, a desire ripped from my life as Ian abruptly left our home to enter his eternal home. Yesterday seems like the golden years, the good times, and today feels like I am stuck in mire and muck.
Today - How to live with the shadow? with the wet blanket of grief, covering so much of life? Exacerbated by memories, pictures, hopes and dreams? How to live maimed emotionally, spiritually and physically by the loss of Ian? How to find a new normal - when you just want yesterday? David Crowder reminds me of the path to follow (and yes Ian, as you would often tell me, it is in the key of B like almost all his songs!):
Life is full of light and shadow
O the joy and O the sorrow
O the sorrow
And yet will He bring
Dark to light
And yet will He bring
Day from night
When shadows fall on us
We will not fear
We will remember
When darkness falls on us
We will not fear
We will remember
When all seems lost
When we're thrown and we're tossed
We remember the cost
We rest in Him
Shadow of the cross (Shadows by DCB)
Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.
I cry out to God Most High,
to God who fulfills his purpose for me. (Psalms 57:1-2)
Tomorrow - The key must be here. Going back to yesterday is impossible; dwelling in yesterday, today, is madness; ignoring the pain is impossible. Tomorrow must equate with hope - in Christ there is hope, for a future, reunion, joy and endurance for road to get there. In God's promises is the strength and hope for healing. As King David and Bono sang (good company!):
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord. (Psalms 40:1-3)
"How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?
How long...how long...how long...I long to sing a new song." (40 by U2)
Lord, draw me out of the pit, put a new song in my mouth, glorify Your Name. Lead me from my yesterday to Your tomorrow - please do this starting today. Until then I will be:
"...waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works." (Titus 2:13-14)
Dad
I feel stuck between yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Yesterday - the Beatles said it well:
"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away;
Now it looks as though they're here to stay;
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be;
There's a shadow hanging over me;
Oh, yesterday came suddenly."
Five months ago yesterday became a dream, a wish, a desire ripped from my life as Ian abruptly left our home to enter his eternal home. Yesterday seems like the golden years, the good times, and today feels like I am stuck in mire and muck.
Today - How to live with the shadow? with the wet blanket of grief, covering so much of life? Exacerbated by memories, pictures, hopes and dreams? How to live maimed emotionally, spiritually and physically by the loss of Ian? How to find a new normal - when you just want yesterday? David Crowder reminds me of the path to follow (and yes Ian, as you would often tell me, it is in the key of B like almost all his songs!):
Life is full of light and shadow
O the joy and O the sorrow
O the sorrow
And yet will He bring
Dark to light
And yet will He bring
Day from night
When shadows fall on us
We will not fear
We will remember
When darkness falls on us
We will not fear
We will remember
When all seems lost
When we're thrown and we're tossed
We remember the cost
We rest in Him
Shadow of the cross (Shadows by DCB)
Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.
I cry out to God Most High,
to God who fulfills his purpose for me. (Psalms 57:1-2)
Tomorrow - The key must be here. Going back to yesterday is impossible; dwelling in yesterday, today, is madness; ignoring the pain is impossible. Tomorrow must equate with hope - in Christ there is hope, for a future, reunion, joy and endurance for road to get there. In God's promises is the strength and hope for healing. As King David and Bono sang (good company!):
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord. (Psalms 40:1-3)
"How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?
How long...how long...how long...I long to sing a new song." (40 by U2)
Lord, draw me out of the pit, put a new song in my mouth, glorify Your Name. Lead me from my yesterday to Your tomorrow - please do this starting today. Until then I will be:
"...waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works." (Titus 2:13-14)
Dad
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Ian and his first car
Ian and his first car
Ian was clear from the start that he did NOT want to have a car like his sister's Honda CIVIC 2-door. He further did not want a white car or a 2-door car - how will he carry around his friends??? He spent inordinate amounts of free time searching the internet for car options - each week his tastes and goals changed. Trucks, vans, cameros, stingrays, you name it. Well one day he and his mom decided to go to Round Rock Honda Used cars - the place we found our Accord and Caylea's CIVIC. There it was - a white CIVIC 2-door (yes, this should have been a 3 strike car from the start!) in great shape. With the desire to get a car growing exponentially each day since we announced we would help him get his first car, his distaste for the CIVIC evaporated quickly. By the time I (his dad) arrived, he was convinced this was the car for him and he loved everything about it - except the stereo! We had Ian negotiate with John Michael for the price - and settled on a fair cost that both he and us can live with. To say the least, he was anxious to get his license and drive this new symbol of freedom. The stereo issue dogged this car - a constant source of frustration and complaining. No surprise that with that Christmas before his 16th birthday, he received a combo birthday/Christmas gift of a new stereo and 4 speakers with appropriate amplification and installation. This made the car the dream vehicle he imagined it could be. But as noted below, the freedom this car afforded was a powerful means of maturing for Ian.
With a driver's license, one cannot drive more than one friend at a time for 6 months. For the social person Ian was, this was a challenge. On one hand he cooperated with this well as it pertained to Marielle his girlfriend - he was glad to have JUST her in the car at a time. But this unfortunately not okay with us or her parents unless they asked - yet they found times and ways to ride together all the time without asking or our knowledge: to or from school, to lunch, out late at night, to and from her house. This left Ian with being "grounded" from his car due to his frequent misuse of the freedom with Marielle. Then, the big event happened. Ian was at the Messina's (we were hanging with them often). During one weekend, Ian and his friends decided to experiment with marajuana at a friend's house of Aaron. The challenge was how to get back to the Messina's. Well, they found a way - Ian would put Aaron and two friends in the car and drive back to the Messina's - stoned. This did not go without notice by the Messina's and we received a call to come get our son. To his credit, Ian was honest and owned up to his part - getting stoned and driving stoned and driving more than one person. Others did not own up so quickly. For breaking several laws, Ian was left with a car in the driveway for 6 months unused. Riding to school on a bus with Freshman was a bummer and soon he was finding friends to get him to and from school so he did not have to endure the humiliation of such "public" transportation.
During this respite from "car freedom," the relationship with Marielle continued to grow - so when he got the car back, they were once again hanging out. But the problem is that the times they chose were late at night, or better said in the middle of the night. With warnings that we would sell his car if he did not cease from misusing his freedom, Ian decided to - keep seeing Marielle in the middle of the night (without us knowing). This apparently continued until one evening when Caylea was sick - I mean projectile vomiting sick. She was staying in the guest bedroom/office. She texted her mom to help and Lanette headed to the bedroom and found Ian coming from the bathroom toward the living room. With a start, he said that he had heard Caylea vomiting and he was coming to tell us about this - but went to the bathroom first. That seemed odd. He headed back to his bedroom and Lanette stayed in the guest room to help Caylea. She was headed to living room to get something and something drew her attention to the front windows of the house - she saw Ian hopping in his car with Marielle in the front seat and driving off. She took care of Caylea and soon heard a car pull back in the driveway. As she entered Ian's room, Ian was climbing back in his open window. Busted. Apparently he and Marielle were out - parking - but Ian had to go to the bathroom. Instead of using a tree, bush, or shadow - Ian chose to come back in OUR house with his sister sick and us checking on her often to go to the bathroom. After his encounter with his mom, he dropped Marielle at her house and crawled into her room with her by her window and then left the same way before driving back to our house. Well that part of the story was confirmed by a call from Marielle's mom saying that she just saw our son crawling out Marielle's window. Bummer for both of them.
The keys were confiscated and the verdict was issued - not a surprise to him and he acknowledged that we were merely following through on what we had said we would do if he did not use his freedom responsibly. Soon, Danny bought Ian's car and he was without a car again. A difficult time with that first car - maybe the 3 strike look of white, 2-door and CIVIC was a sign. The money Danny paid was put in a bank to buy Ian's next car - the rust-bucket Pathfinder that would hold Bessy!
Ian was clear from the start that he did NOT want to have a car like his sister's Honda CIVIC 2-door. He further did not want a white car or a 2-door car - how will he carry around his friends??? He spent inordinate amounts of free time searching the internet for car options - each week his tastes and goals changed. Trucks, vans, cameros, stingrays, you name it. Well one day he and his mom decided to go to Round Rock Honda Used cars - the place we found our Accord and Caylea's CIVIC. There it was - a white CIVIC 2-door (yes, this should have been a 3 strike car from the start!) in great shape. With the desire to get a car growing exponentially each day since we announced we would help him get his first car, his distaste for the CIVIC evaporated quickly. By the time I (his dad) arrived, he was convinced this was the car for him and he loved everything about it - except the stereo! We had Ian negotiate with John Michael for the price - and settled on a fair cost that both he and us can live with. To say the least, he was anxious to get his license and drive this new symbol of freedom. The stereo issue dogged this car - a constant source of frustration and complaining. No surprise that with that Christmas before his 16th birthday, he received a combo birthday/Christmas gift of a new stereo and 4 speakers with appropriate amplification and installation. This made the car the dream vehicle he imagined it could be. But as noted below, the freedom this car afforded was a powerful means of maturing for Ian.
With a driver's license, one cannot drive more than one friend at a time for 6 months. For the social person Ian was, this was a challenge. On one hand he cooperated with this well as it pertained to Marielle his girlfriend - he was glad to have JUST her in the car at a time. But this unfortunately not okay with us or her parents unless they asked - yet they found times and ways to ride together all the time without asking or our knowledge: to or from school, to lunch, out late at night, to and from her house. This left Ian with being "grounded" from his car due to his frequent misuse of the freedom with Marielle. Then, the big event happened. Ian was at the Messina's (we were hanging with them often). During one weekend, Ian and his friends decided to experiment with marajuana at a friend's house of Aaron. The challenge was how to get back to the Messina's. Well, they found a way - Ian would put Aaron and two friends in the car and drive back to the Messina's - stoned. This did not go without notice by the Messina's and we received a call to come get our son. To his credit, Ian was honest and owned up to his part - getting stoned and driving stoned and driving more than one person. Others did not own up so quickly. For breaking several laws, Ian was left with a car in the driveway for 6 months unused. Riding to school on a bus with Freshman was a bummer and soon he was finding friends to get him to and from school so he did not have to endure the humiliation of such "public" transportation.
During this respite from "car freedom," the relationship with Marielle continued to grow - so when he got the car back, they were once again hanging out. But the problem is that the times they chose were late at night, or better said in the middle of the night. With warnings that we would sell his car if he did not cease from misusing his freedom, Ian decided to - keep seeing Marielle in the middle of the night (without us knowing). This apparently continued until one evening when Caylea was sick - I mean projectile vomiting sick. She was staying in the guest bedroom/office. She texted her mom to help and Lanette headed to the bedroom and found Ian coming from the bathroom toward the living room. With a start, he said that he had heard Caylea vomiting and he was coming to tell us about this - but went to the bathroom first. That seemed odd. He headed back to his bedroom and Lanette stayed in the guest room to help Caylea. She was headed to living room to get something and something drew her attention to the front windows of the house - she saw Ian hopping in his car with Marielle in the front seat and driving off. She took care of Caylea and soon heard a car pull back in the driveway. As she entered Ian's room, Ian was climbing back in his open window. Busted. Apparently he and Marielle were out - parking - but Ian had to go to the bathroom. Instead of using a tree, bush, or shadow - Ian chose to come back in OUR house with his sister sick and us checking on her often to go to the bathroom. After his encounter with his mom, he dropped Marielle at her house and crawled into her room with her by her window and then left the same way before driving back to our house. Well that part of the story was confirmed by a call from Marielle's mom saying that she just saw our son crawling out Marielle's window. Bummer for both of them.
The keys were confiscated and the verdict was issued - not a surprise to him and he acknowledged that we were merely following through on what we had said we would do if he did not use his freedom responsibly. Soon, Danny bought Ian's car and he was without a car again. A difficult time with that first car - maybe the 3 strike look of white, 2-door and CIVIC was a sign. The money Danny paid was put in a bank to buy Ian's next car - the rust-bucket Pathfinder that would hold Bessy!
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Song 3: All My Tears from "Good Monsters" CD - Jars of Clay
Here is a song from Ian's favorite Jars of Clay CD. He would
play this CD every morning getting ready for school for well over a year. I
think this CD is Caylea Pogue's and maybe Danny's favorite Jars CD too. I let
them comment agreement or disagreement on that.
This song is Ian's message to us, his friends and family
left behind here in time. My prayer is that it will be our testimony as well.
It didn't matter to Ian where he was buried - he was already
home; he was already free. Thanks to all who have celebrated his life by
spreading some of Ian in France, England, Portugal, Spain, Poland, Colombia,
Kenya, Germany, California, Washington DC, Nashville, Ohio, College Station
(pond hopping with our "kids" on the TAMU campus), Wichita Falls, and
various places around Austin, e.g. Mount Bonnell, Zilker Park, and other
locations. Ian has "got around" for sure!!! But that is not him; he
is not here but resting in his Father's arms.
Weep not for Ian, his life belongs to "the First and
the Last, the Living One. Who died, and behold Who is alive forevermore, and
holds the keys of Death and Hades" (Rev. 1:17-18). He is the One to whom
Ian's life belongs, the One who will raise the dead again. So though we may
weep because we miss Ian's physical presence, we know he is safe and home. We
weep for ourselves and what we miss - but we grieve with a sure hope, that we
will rejoice with Ian before God's throne soon. There all our tears will be washed
away!
Jars Of Clay
"All My Tears" from "Good Monsters"
When I go, don't cry for me
In my Father's arms I'll be
The wounds this world left on my soul
Will all be healed and I'll be whole.
Sun and moon will be replaced
With the light of Jesus' face
And I will not be ashamed
For my Savior knows my name.
It don't matter where you bury me,
I'll be home and I'll be free.
It don't matter where I lay,
All my tears be washed away.
Gold and silver blind the eye
Temporary riches lie
Come and eat from heaven's store,
Come and drink, and thirst no more
It don't matter where you bury me
I'll be home and I'll be free
It don't matter where I lay
All my tears be washed away
So, weep not for me my friends,
When my time below does end
For my life belongs to Him
Who will raise the dead again.
It don't matter where you bury me,
I'll be home and I'll be free.
It don't matter where I lay,
All my tears be washed away.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Song 2: More Than Fine-Switchfoot
When I wake in the morning,
I want to blow into pieces.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.
When I'm up with the sunrise
I want more than just blue skies.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.
I'm not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.
I'm not giving up, giving up, not backing down.
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.
When I'm lit with the sunrise.
I want more than just a good time.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok...
Jon Foreman sings of pursuing life with more gusto and
lasting purpose than what normally dominates the common, pedestrian approach to
life in the 21st century. We seek small things: no hassles, green lights, no
flats, no arguments, plenty, no suffering, a modicum of happiness, and a fairy
tale ending. As I hear stories, see pictures, and review our conversations, I
see that Ian wanted a life that was more than "fine" and spent his
time and money investing in depth - deep relationships, meaningful experiences,
lasting return, and eternal hope. Just think about his work out approach - he
was not giving up to be in shape and drag as many people as possible into shape
with him. He pursued holiness with the same energy through accountability
groups, giving his resources and time, in private conversations and dragging
friends to worship. This may mean he was a "A, B, C" student, got
little sleep and was full-on busy - but he sought to suck the marrow out of
life. He may have lived 19 years - but those years were definitely "more
than fine!" He inspires me to pursue the same set of lasting virtues and
live "more than fine!" Now that he sits in the presence of our Father
- Ian is certainly "more than fine!!!"
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