Sunday, December 27, 2015

Birthdays


Ornaments wrapped and boxed
Tree taken down
Decorations hauled to the attic
Transition complete

One epic celebration gives way to another
Joy over the birth of Christ
Joy for the birth of you
Such is our annual tradition

Pinatas with bats dangerously swinging
Candy spilling, friends frenzy
Trampolines, en masse bouncing high
Sliding down our hill on folded boxes

Video games and shooting pool,
Ice cold water and a bubbling hot tub
Bicycle riding, skating and jumping
Deck to build, grind, catch air and ollie

Scavenger hunts (photo evidence a must)
Bowling with friends, under black light
Basketball games become dunk contests
Trash cans enter, sweaty t-shirts leave


Hello Kitty napkins, funny cake decorations
Table cloth and cups in pink and light blue
All attempts to embarrass
Totally lost on you

A birthday near Christmas has advantages
Negotiation for combo gifts begins months ago
An iPod, speaker system, a bass, it keeps going
Regardless of size, joy, that smile, always gratitude


Family and friends gather to celebrate
Fun and foil 
Candles to count and light
Wishes to be made, flames going out


Life like a candle on a cake
Burns hot one minute, smolders the next
Seems so bright, intense and warm
Then gone, memories seared inside the eyes

Such was watching you grow
One day a baby, the next a boy, then a man
How can time pass so quickly?
Why can the candle not be still burning?


But the tradition continues
Christmas makes way for your birthday
Decorations, just a few, are packed
Memories and hopes unpacked

Do they celebrate birthdays at Home?
Are there new hopes, new dreams to realize?
Are gifts unwrapped? Joys shared?
Each person remembered?


Time is a passing thing
Steps taken before eternity
A deep longing remains
Knowing reunion awaits

A new type of joy
Deeper level of love
An expansive relationship
Unity, we are one as He is

Identity in purpose, 
Solidarity in praise, 
Alliance of love
Harmony in peace


Maybe birthdays continue at Home
Not marking our entrance into time
But marking fulfillment of His promises
The complete experience grace

I guess a cake will be in order
A celebration fit for the King
Friends and family gather
As each deep hope and dream are unwrapped

No candles need be lit there
No wishes to be made
Time has no place there
All desire has found its resting place




Friday, October 9, 2015

#ianstrong

How strong in body, mind and spirit
When you walked this earth








You strengthened your body:
 










 
Enlarged your muscles - lifting heavy weight; can you say Smartcar?

Increased your stamina - running many laps; a 5k after leg day, really?

Intensified your agility - engaging in so many sports and how many concussions?

Extending your leap - jumping anything nearby; dunk contests, Frisbee discs, and trashcans
 

Improved your dexterity - playing guitar and bass; Bessy, the Music Man, Godin, 7-string, still more?
 
 







You exercised your mind:
 





 

 


Renewed in conception - reading, hearing, constantly surfing the web

Steady in conviction - grounded, convinced, even when ...wrong!
 
Tenacious in seeking truth - constant seeking and continual conversation
 
Expansive through investigation - always researching, Googling, Youtubing
 
Energetic with new ideas - always listening, "musicing", sharing

 





 You developed an athletic spirit:







 


With vigorous faith - counting all lost

In hearty worship - hands lifted high
 

Through consistent service - to neighbors at home and abroad
 

Overflowing with joy - that smile, that giggle
 

To eternal ends - knowing who holds your reward


How weighty the loss
         

         unendurable the separation

         steady the tether of love


         robust the thankfulness


         active the memories


         vigorous the hope


         firm the anticipation
 

 

Indeed, how strong the Father’s love is for us 

             how deep His condescension

             how scandalous His rising

             how immense our seating

             how audacious His promise
    


 

Spanning time, 

Bridging distance, to



        unite body, mind and spirit - again


        experience reunion - again


        grant joy - again

 

Loving you “E” - reunion soon,

Dad

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

La Obsesión de Ian con los Zapatos


I returned to Academy this week – it is the first time that I have shopped there since you went Home. The store seemed the same, unchanged in the last 3 years. The layout, the order, the sections, all seemed the same – I felt that I walked back in time. How I wish that I could – “go back in time” and Huey Lewis would sing.

Academy is not a special store, not “our store”, but a store we frequented over our years in Austin. I remembered many special times wandering through its aisles. While Mom and Caylea looked for kickboxing gloves, yes, your sister is doing kickboxing. And yes, I am a bit afraid… I remember the “fitness” area where you and Caylea would try out the equipment: weight machines, bow-flex like devices, punch bags and do sit-ups on machines. We could kill half an hour just in that section when we first came to Texas. (Yes, I know I entitled this “shoes” and I have not even brought up the subject yet. Hang in there; it’s coming.) That section was like a theme park – sweat being the theme – that you guys loved to explore. I remember once you worked out so hard, your hair had sweat in it – we were in a store! But this section was also where we looked for knee braces, ankle braces and other braces to help you as you recovered from your many injuries – basketball and football especially took their toll. We still keep your football knee brace – don’t know why. I just remember you Freshman year, your whining, your playing, your icing, your whining – but mostly, I remember the “process” it took to find that brace at Academy. We looked, tried some, took some back, returned to look again, etc. until we found one that finally worked. If the joy in parenthood comes from high surface area with your kids, the knee brace was one of those “joyful” times. 
But I didn’t stay in the fitness section – I was drawn to the aisles with discs. We looked for golf discs; or correctly said, I would look for golf discs. You would look for Ultimate discs. But this was met with disappointment – for they never carried good Discraft discs. A lecture would then follow describing the nuances of the “lip” on the disc, finger placement, smoothness, height of lip, etc. I guess you were an expert. I never could feel “that” much difference in a disc. In these aisles we would wander, looking for random things that you “needed” at times. Yes, we would go to Dick's or other larger sporting goods stores to look for things, but Academy was the “go to” and one we often found ourselves in.
I may have started my visit in the fitness section, but I soon wandered to the discs, basketball and random aisles, but I knew what my target was in the store. The shoes! (See, there it is; I finally made it to the subject). From Jr. High on through High School you and I would explore shoe options here – may not buy them, but we would explore. Indeed, your whole life – you were obsessed with shoes. And, for a kid who drove his Mom crazy (yes Dad too) taking off their shoes immediately after getting in a car seat – it was hard to believe that shoes would become an obsession. I mean, Mom or I would buckle you in, and we had not even sat down and “thud”, “thump” your shoes would hit the floor. We would say “No”, “Please stop that” “ You are in trouble!” (Parents know all the phrases) and sure enough, once one of us put your shoes back on and turned around, “thud”, “thump” – the shoes would hit floor again. You were so agreeable, so easy as a kid – but with shoes - “thud”, “thump” – the shoes would hit the floor. But from your time in pre-school on, shoes began to “define” the stages of your life.

As a toddler, it was EVERYONE else's shoes that caught your attention. I cannot believe I forgot this - but thankfully Mom reminded me. Mom's shoes, Danny's shoes, even my really big shoes (11-11-1/2) you would put on and put your feet in them and scoot around in those shoes. It was so funny to see this little guy trying to master shoes half his full body size. We would tie up the laces to try to keep them on and you would tool around the house in "clown shoes." Poppa Gene still remembers how you would wear his shoes. He still talks about your cute self and the joy you brought to us all (not just then but always). If uniqueness defines memories, well we all are full of memories of you - scoot, scoot, scoot with that infectious smile on your face all the time.

From pre-school through early elementary school, you would wear primarily skater shoes. No doubt you idolizing your brother, and your desire to embody all that was cool, influenced that choice. But Vans and their ilk were “it.” I think their choice sprang from your inherent laziness about certain things – like tying your shoes. Never liked that. So, the Vans could stay tied, fit loose and you could slip them on or off as you liked. You could always go shoeless at a moment’s notice. You could kick them off – hurling the Van across the room, on a bookcase, into a tree, giggling the whole time! Now, you were a skater – continued to be a skater through Jr. High and Sophomore year – so you may continued to “have” a pair of beat up skater shoes, but you found a new obsession.

Once you found basketball, the high tops, of some or any type, became what we would spend hours to find. We would go to Academy, Dick's, Sports shoe places, Nike, Reebok, Adidas, etc. stores in the outlets, regular stores searching for those perfect shoes. These were often “named” shoes – MJ’s, Shaq, Kobe. They could be full high tops, ¾ tops – it did not matter. Ankle support, flexible with tying or not, basketball shoes were it! As a growing boy, you would move in and out of these b-ball shoes very quickly. Having two pairs was essential – always. If you did not outgrow them, you wore them completely out.
 Soon the trend moved from “real”, supportive basketball shoes to a shoe style older than me – Chuck Taylor Top 10’s. You, Caylea and Danny all enjoyed these shoes – Caylea having the longest wearing record. The unique styles, with flames, skater and rapper signs, flags, etc. were just too much for a modest guy like yourself to pass up. Jonathan in Jr. High made a small business drawing his amazing cartoons on Chuck Taylor's – lots of surface area, but also any other shoes that someone would commission him to decorate. After our trip to Washington DC, he decorated a pair of shoes for you – this was very special birthday gift. In spite of the “cool” factor of Chuck’s, they were not really “functional” for basketball. The lack of padding, ankle support led to constant complaining about knee pain, ankle pain. But the worst was playing basketball out on the driveway. When the rocky pavement became the least bit wet, it would be very slick and Chuck’s have really no “stickiness” so slips and spills could occur.

I could go on and one about the specialized shoes you would find important. Bowling shoes. Yep, you liked them – definitely a killer look – well for a while, then usually they would be shed for bowling in socks. Those evenings at the Underground were great family times – blacklight bowling baby! There were more “skater” shoes as you and your Jr. High friends revisited this sport. Any “low top” became a skater shoe choice, but if you could have an extra pair of shoes and make those a Van or another skater shoe – you were always open to a closet full of shoes. At Academy, we searched for just the right cleats for football – for real grass but also working on the occasional turf. There is a very clear difference between football cleats and cleats that are appropriate for Ultimate – well you were confident in this. Further, there were differences with cleats required for soccer. Cleats and cleats – traction, cutting, jumping, kicking, running, stopping on a dime. Your natural athleticism was elevated by the wonders of cleats. I still have one of your high top blue socks from soccer. I keep it with my socks – a prized possession reminding me of you as I scramble for socks in the morning.
 It was the back wall, the “cleat aisle” at an Academy that held my attention most – this is where we often found these shoes. The Chucks, the b-ball high tops – really more often at Nike or Reebok or maybe even Famous Footwear – but good cleats, Academy was it. I visualized our conversations on utility of the “plastic-like” outers, the wear-ability of different cleat heights and compositions. Watching you run, cut, jump, as you tried out each pair. You would only slowly make a choice, talking incessantly about your vision for their utility, what they will empower you to do, how they will “take you higher!” 
 Your brother Danny as a kid, when trying on shoes, would put them on and tell us to watch him run “These shoes make me run fast!!! Watch me Daddy! Watch me!” he would say as he sprinted up and down the aisles of a store – frightening other patrons. But you always jumped, trying to touch high things. You would run down to the basketball goals – down the back wall in Academy – to try to touch the nets, the backboards, the rims. Shoes with you guys always transformed your performance – well, if you picked out the right pair of shoes! And that took forever with you.
Ultimate had its own cleats, but as your brother Danny tried out and began wearing Vibrams; you had to as well. Five finger shoes – really five toes. You loved them – you said you could feel the ground and you could run as if you were barefoot. Your dream of barefootedness while still having the benefit of shoes was fulfilled. All of a sudden, you began to jog. Jogging on the balls of your feet seemed to take the pressure off your knees and you could run farther, faster and longer. You always told me to get a pair. Didn’t until after you went Home. Have one now and indeed, you were right – I can really run in them. They are feather light, lead me to run on the balls of my feet, leaning forward, farther, faster and longer. Should have listened and we would have jogged together. Only issue, when worn without socks – yikes, they really got nasty and smelly. I have one of your socks still – too small for my feet. But like the soccer sock – a prized possession.
But in High School and college, you migrated more to the other type of shoe that was near to barefoot – the flip flop. You really loved them. 
The brown, the leather-like, the cheap, the functional. You could be in the rain with flip flops and you need not care (like you really minded getting your shoes wet!). You were at home in flip flops – because you could (like your Vans) just kick them off and you were off, running on the sidewalk, in the grass letting your Hobbit feet grip, turn and move. I can just see this happen in my mind as we were at A&M – going from rest or hanging out to “disc-ready” in no time! 
The Vibrams were used for working out a lot – but at home, you really like stronger, more supportive shoes, especially if you were going to do squats. You seemed to have my old Reeboks with you every other day. You would NEVER put them back in my room. They would be lying by the front door, by the couch in the Pogue common room or in your room. I was always searching for them for they were my ONLY pair of cross trainers. I would wear running shoes and you would wear my shoes to 24 Hour gym for arm day, back day or leg day. I still have those grungy old shoes – another constant reminder of you in my closet – an irreplaceable token of the life we share.  
 I don’t remember the shoes you were wearing that April 19th – I should, but I don’t. I know you wore that amazing button down maroon shirt – the one you wore on your last trip to Austin – Easter Sunday with Brenda. You wore your nice, new Lucky jeans. Mom took you all around town to find jeans that actually fit your sexy butt, you big thighs and calves. Lucky had the pair. We were going to check out how they worked – because they had to be hemmed. You wore your best clothes home to see your Mom and I – Mom always has a way of inspiring the best in us. I can’t think about Lucky jeans without getting a bit sad. The story of you finding them and wearing those home to see us just gets me. I wear Luckies – guess I am a bit sad all the time.
So, I know you are asking, why the zapatos in the title? I remember your heart, your generosity and your purposeful attitude for service. They are all captured by zapatos. When we went to Riverbend Church, the pastor challenged us to serve the people of the community by giving our shoes away – yes that very morning, in church!. Well, you were one of the first ones down and gave away your shoes. They were a cheap pair, but Mom followed and gave away an expensive pair. You led the giving of shoes from our family to those in need. You, Mom and Caylea left the church that day barefoot, but richer. My generosity followed up the next day - you taught me that it takes only two thoughts to be generous - one toward our Lord (who was rich, but for our sakes became poor so we could share in His riches) and the needs of others. The giving came slower to me - still learning. We later went with Riverbend to serve the people of Siloe El Salvador. We put on VBS, puppets (gosh my knees hurt), handed out food, loved on kids, listened to the people, encouraged the ministers there, played soccer (football) and basketball and made life-long family in Central America. We were told to expect to leave our t-shirts and shorts behind for the people there. You were all about that – less laundry to do upon returning!!! But you also gave away your good basketball shoes so that a brother in El Salvador would have good zapatos.

I guess I am wrong when I said you were obsessed about shoes. Actually, you were obsessed about loving, serving and being with people. I can’t help but think of our Savior, bending down, taking off the dusty sandals from His disciples and gently washing the road residue from their feet. He said we were to follow His example. You certainly did follow Jesus, not only serving, washing, but giving away what you valued, often valued most, for the benefit of others. Thank you for this example. "Go and do likewise" - I hear that whispered in my ear. 

Love you "E"!

Dad

Monday, July 20, 2015

Ultimately Ultimate!


Ian,

 

You were that guy - the one carrying around a frisbee disc around with you: in your car, in your backpack, in your hand, wherever you would go. I remember you and I tossing the disc across from the Spence and Briggs dorms or walking to and from Northgate for a meal - running, throwing, leaping, catching - during Gateway. 



 
People would stop, notice your athleticism, experience your joy and boundless energy. Sometimes a stray clap or “Great catch!” could be heard. Even in the Freshman dorms - moving in Spence or Moses, coming to visit, hanging out - we would always throw the disc. Could be among the Walton “hills”, around the Moses BBQ pit, in the parking lots, along the Military Walk, in back of Northgate - tossing the disc was what we did. You apparently did this with lots of others at TAMU. Much like PJ’s, the disc defined how people recognized you. Ultimately, Ultimate disc - throwing, catching and playing - was clearly central to your plans and experiences. But how did you get there???



Skills with the disc - you learned first from Danny. We all cut our teeth in our big, pie-shaped yard in Vacaville with bad, Whamo discs. Certainly in Vacaville, Danny was the Ultimate-enthusiast. You were more interested in riding bikes, skateboards and playing basketball. But, you loved watching your brother and his friends play this emerging sport. We would sit as a family - watch and you would talk, about the game we were watching, about video games, plans, anything - you just loved to talk!

When we moved to Austin, your interests stayed with skateboarding, basketball, dunking and video games. Danny would visit and we would pick up the disc and play some “family Ultimate” in the street out front or pick up games. You would join in for sure. Danny soon introduced us to Frisbee golf. I really enjoyed playing that type of golf - maybe it replaced my natural affinity to throw things on the golf course with a productive outlet. Indy would love the disc golf too - time roaming around Pease Park, Zilker or other courses around town. Danny and I tried and tried to get you to play with us - even bought you discs. I think you played twice - but got so frustrated loosing discs (spending hours finding discs in the weeds is a necessary part of the disc golf experience) and not finding the discs going where you want. Not a good match.

Things really changed as you were finishing up Jr. High at Brentwood. During Spring break, Matt Bob and the Oregon “Ego" - team came to the UT CENTEX tournament during SXSW. Teams were from California, Boston all over the US. We watched probably two games and at once it was clear that a curiosity, became an interest. We found that Summer Austin-wide YPLA league. It was there that you and Caylea actually started Ultimate. It was there you met many folks from Anderson and folks you dragged from Brentwood to play - Jacob, Andrew, Max, Derrick, Evan, Nic, and even Adam. For two Summers - you and C really enjoyed making new friends from LASA, Austin High, McCallum, Westlake, and other schools in the Austin, area. Each Sunday afternoon, we would meet at the high school off I35 South and play. The fields were on the top - blustery at times, and then down the steep hill or steps, to the lower field. This one was less windy, and had the track around. Mom and I would drop you guys off - but often stay and watch. What a joy to listen to you two talk, laugh, learn, celebrate with new friends! Everyone loved to play with you. Your positive attitude, your competitive spirit, your physical abilities and your contagious smile. 



After that first Summer, you were hooked - yes, you continued to pursue football, basketball, wrestling, soccer, ballroom dancing, on and on (really!!!), but you kept returning to Ultimate. Football at Anderson started really well - you were fast, quick, strong - but small. Sure as the world, Summer practice went well on the field, but an incident in the dressing room (something about a flying chair) left you with a cut, and a concussion. Soon, after on the field, a second concussion. Then, after playing running back significantly - you were tackled by the entire defense resulting in a hip pointer. This is when strength and tenacity played against you. Not going down quickly allowed for piling on, that your size did not prove helpful. After these health issues in the Fall and Spring training of your Freshman year, football became a sport to avoid, not pursue at the time. Ultimate seemed to be the right sport for the Spring. So, the Anderson Ultimate Team was born - you being one of it’s originators. 


The Trojan Ultimate Team formed your Freshman year and it was mainly composed of Freshman and Sophomores. I remember coming to a practice at an elementary school on Spicewood Springs (across from the Starbucks) and you announced your new nickname - Bongo Tities. We looked a bit shocked and asked - “Why?” You said that your chest was so big, tight and muscular, your friends loved to play the drums on it with their fists like a bongo. 
 

The blue uniforms were first - Nothing Gets Past a Trojan! Games commenced, traveling, sitting in the sun, under umbrellas, finding fields - looking for you among lots of teams. Any parent knows the drill at a sports tourney. But when we would see your team, we could spot you - you were always talking, laughing and cracking people up. You were the one running fast, jumping high, laying out. Opposing teams would often start by lining up with a small guy on you. Your speed may have given you a slight advantage, but your jumping ability made it easy for you to soar over their hands and score. The smaller person would be rapidly replaced by a larger person. Then it was your speed that earned separation and scoring. Finally, a top athlete would be on you and that made the game fun. You two would vie for the disc - on offense and defense, sprints or cutbacks, jumping or diving. I remember seeing many times your hand on a disc that only a person many inches taller than you was touching. The competition was fierce. Mom and I were thrilled that you were playing a safe sport - no more of the football injuries! Then it happened. You leapt in the scoring zone to catch a disc. I still remember it in slow motion - watching you in the back corner of zone, “They are throwing the disc to Ian! It looks so high! Can Ian reach that disc? He caught it!!!" You trapped it on your head like a hat and then your feet were up around your head in height, and you fell back and hit your head on the hard ground. Yep, your third concussion! But, you scored - right?!?


Three years of Anderson Ultimate - every year saw new players to integrate, new teams to play, all with the same intensity. One of my favorite matches was when your team was given uniforms from UT’s TUFF Ultimate team for a tourney. You were in the burnt orange and played Austin’s DoubleWide and other “big” teams. You guys actually scored two points on the nation’s best team - but they still trounced in the final score. You guys had a great tourney with adults and competed at high levels. The joy and pleasure in your faces was apparent at the end as you poised for pictures.



 



Soccer became your Spring focus your Senior year. Maybe Ultimate politics got the best of it, or you loved watching the soccer players gauk at your weightlifting abilities!!! But no Ultimate that year. 
At A&M, you went out your Freshman year to try out for the A&M’s Dozen. And, in your first year, you made the “A” team - wow!!! You played in games in the TAMU tournament - beating several top ranked teams. You went to University of Oklahoma tourney where Momma Jean, Poppa Gene, Mom, Becky and Avery all came to watch you play. It was cold, windy and, I think, rained - miserable weather. But they loved watching you cheer your team mates on and play some minutes. 


 I would often call you in the evenings - you would be biking to practice (before your bike was stolen), walked or ran to practice or more often drove your car. You were always a buzz about the fun. It was very hard to keep up with practice and school work and you let the team know that you were cutting back as you worked toward finals that second semester. The back burner worked and your grades looked up. Even though you were not with them to the end, they dedicated their time in the 2013 National Tournament in your honor.

Ultimate was a family sport - I think my stories made that clear. You watched Danny play; Danny came to watch you play; Caylea played with you; Mom was at EVERY game; I was at most games to watch; Danny and I played with you at Zilker on a Sunday afternoon, and we threw the disc often when we got together. Coming to TAMU to move you in for the Summer, for the Fall Semester, visiting you on campus - out came the disc and we would run through campus throwing and catching. I was so thankful, yes even proud, that every kid and parent saw that my son, my amazing son, would want to play disc with his dad. You never left me out, but included me with your friends in circles, pickups, etc. You made the disc a family event - one we all shared with you. Indeed, after you went home, Danny, Caylea, Seraina and your friends spontaneously went out front of the house to throw the disc - in your honor. 




In front of our house, you and I would throw - running up our lawn, ducking under trees, leaping over curbs to catch the disc. You would leap and catch my errant throws so they would not hit a neighbors garage door. Well, sometimes the throws were so bad that - well, BANG!!! We would play into the dark, throw like a football to catch going up the stairs to the front door and try to throw like a basketball to make a goal. If I threw a worm burner, it sometimes would go down the street drain. You would immediately pop open the man hole and jump down, toss out the disc and climb back out. Then, we were off and going again. Good times! 

I remember the last time we threw the disc at A&M. Caylea and I came to visit you and she was hangry, and you were late. Well, we got food - save our relationships and then went to the Research Park to throw a disc. Well, you had not brought a disc and all I had were my Frisbee golf discs. Well, that was good enough - C, you and I through the discs around. C through once near the water and you warned her that if she is not careful, it will land in the water and sink to the bottom, lost. We acknowledged your wisdom and started throwing again. Then we looked at you, and you were aiming my Orc disc across the little lake. You ran forward and let it rip - well, rip up and curve, and back and SPASH!!! in the middle of the lake. C and I let out the obvious “REALLY??!!!???” and we laughed and laughed. We walked across the bridge that I proposed to Mom on and I looked forlornly for my sunken Orc. C and I then started to think what was the Elvish name for Orc Slayer - we needed to name you as they would name a sword. We searched online and deemed you the Orcrist!!! Again we laughed and laughed.
 
We still have your discs - discs to remind us of our Family Sport, to remind us of you. Danny has one of your purple Discrafts. It has gone with him from Austin, CT, FL back to Austin. He cherishes your disc as he does you.
 


Caylea has a disc you shared in the Summer leagues and holds her memories playing with you tightly. Mom and I have the Dragon Yin-Yang disc. It reminds me to fight being tight, and to live generously as Jesus did, as you did. We bought this one and the purple Discrafts in between Semesters at DiscNation. You lost your others - it was time for me to buy, not you. You remember the story. 

Your friends remembered you in discs - Erin painted the picture of you “holding up” the Howdy sign on a disc and brought it to your Homecoming. It has the entire 23rd Psalm written in it. Amazing. It is one of our most prized possessions. Aunt Stephanie, Uncle Brian, Will and Kenedy sent a disc with an encouraging verse and signatures to support us. Your first Going Home Celebration - 12 months after - was greeted by a rousing game of Ultimate with your friends. Your Remembrance Table had Erin's disc on it - to remind us of our boy. 



Your brother "wears" his disc with you on his body - the tattoo he designed. It characterizes your relationship, its link between then and the future. You are laying out in the tattoo - laying out to catch the disc Danny has thrown. You will catch it - that connection between the two of you remains. The discs are around our house and lives - again reminding us of you, of your laugh, your smile, your leap, your life.
 

I can’t walk out the front door, but to yearn to throw a disc with you again in the street. When I remember El Salvador, I remember you teaching kids to throw the disc and giving your best discs away out of love. I can’t think about Zilker without memories of you throwing discs with Poppa Gene and I there. Playing pickup Ultimate with you and Danny near Rock Island. Seeing you and Derrick play disc there on TV - you leaping, catching and looking so cool upon landing.  It was there we last threw the disc with you after your Going Home Service.
 







I can’t forget searching for places around Brentwood and North Austin to practice throwing when we needed “space” because we sucked. Throwing discs with you and C with Indy and Charlie watching on the fairways and on the greens on the Great Hills Country Club course. 
TAMU’s sidewalks are lonely without your feet on them, pursuing a disc thrown to you. The grass there seems empty without you. So is my heart - yes, 27 months later - my heart still feels empty without you. Each of these brief stories are just reminders of a world of memories you left me, you left us, just about discs. There is so much more than discs.

Ian, I miss you. I love you.

Dad