(Feel free to read or pass over - up to you. These are some meditations on God's character and Ian going home - God's perfect will, His goodness, His sovereignty and an event according to my calendar quite premature, heart and dream crushing, one making life a fog of "what if's...". Tackling the issues from different angles over time. Sometimes raw, sometimes preachy, always seeking.)
Jesus faces grief or living for God's glory and ...
The "and ...", all other idols, pursuits, desires and people, die with John 11:4, 25 and 12:27-29. Even the life of self or life of one we may love cannot be above the pursuit of God's glory (Luke 14:26-27; John 12:25). Obviously, if this is true for life's blood, everything less than life itself must kneel at the feet of God's glory as well. In God's pursuit and jealousy over His own glory, seeing His holiness loved and delighted in, His will and Kingdom come and be done in time and space, is He callus in this request for his greater glory? Life's grief may argue "yes", but a look into these context around the same scriptures cited above argues an emphatic "NO!" Jesus models how to live in the tension, the internal fight, the suffering associated with submitting under God's mighty hand and pursuing the Father's glory. In doing so, He experiences loss, great loss, in this focused pursuit. The modeling of Jesus in John 11 with the sisters and Lazarus himself, battling internally in John 12, as well as Isaiah 53, 2 Cor. 1, Heb. 2 and 4 and other passages argue that He understands and suffers with us through any loss - allowed by the sovereign will of God and fitted for His greater glory. God promises to unite all that is His in His eternal Home (John 14, 1 Cor. 15, Rev. 22, etc) giving us not only hope but an eternal inheritance in Christ (1 Peter 1:1-9cf; Titus 3:4-7).
In John 11, Jesus was angered with the situation presented, experienced grief (mingling of loss, anger and hope) and wept when the death of his friend and grief of his friends screamed out the incongruity inherit in human experience. This clash of temporal termination, the unknown of eternal promise and hope leads us to seek to reconcile temporal suffering with God's will and eternal glory. There Jesus stood, knowing that he was going to raise Lazarus, knowing it would be "okay." But at the tomb He felt the loss, He experienced the angst, saw the suffering death brings and He wept. He just wept with the sisters. He weeps with me. Jesus cooperated with His Father's design, suffered through the process and then illustrated the reality of the future resurrection on the last day by bringing Lazarus forth from the grave, spirit, soul, and body. This victory was short-lived for Lazarus would die once more (no doubt with greater faith, hope and expectancy the second time compared with the first time!) - but ultimately pointed to God's purpose, power and the linking of His glory to our resurrection giving us true eternal hope in the midst of the inevitable loss we will face.
In John 12, Jesus was troubled In His heart as He faced His own suffering and death - wanting it to pass. The time had come for Him to be glorified in His atoning work and the Father to be glorified in His Son's obedience and accomplishment (see John 12:28; John 17). But this meant His death - first to His own desires, will and plans - to lose His life and become like the grain of wheat planted in the ground to die to its present form and purpose. Then, in hating His own life, seeing life reborn as the seed does as it grows into a plant yielding an eternal harvest of multiplied fruit. Jesus was grieved no doubt by a premature death, facing the prospects of extreme physical suffering, but mostly facing the sin bearing and the separation from God in His sacrificial death as He entered the Garden ( Mark 14:32-42).
We see Jesus in John 12 weighing the options - to implore deliverance from suffering, grief and loss or submit under God's mighty hand to see His glory revealed and Name exalted. Boldly and triumphantly He cries to the Father in faith and against every human bent, and no doubt feeling every human trepidation, "Glorify Your Name!" God answers His Son that He has glorified His Name in the life of the Son thus far and will continue to glorify it further in His death. This crowned the ministry of Jesus with God's seal of approval - not that Jesus needed to hear this - but people around Him did. In this humble submission to the Father, "God highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (Phil. 2:9-11). Jesus again models the self denial, the submission to God seeking God's glory above all and points to the eternal hope we have in Him experienced now and throughout eternity.
Further, as predicted in Isaiah 53 and interpreted in Heb. 2:10 cf and 4:14-16, Jesus bore our griefs, sorrows, sicknesses, weaknesses, needs, aloneness, separation, judgement, sufferings, temptations, anguish, guilt, transgressions, sin, rebellion, chastisement, punishment, death, burial. He bore all in life and death.
He shared in all these with us and redeemed us along with all this! Heb 2:14cf. He delivered those destined to die, fearful of death and under the devil's power through His substitutionary, sacrificial death and His triumph over the grave. He now leads us forward as His spoil to present to His Father as His poema, His treasures and masterpieces, "so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." Eph. 2:7 (2 Cor. 2:14-16; Eph. 2: 7, 10). He has made us his captives and continues to lead us along in Christ's triumphal procession. Now he uses us to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere, like a sweet perfume. 2 Corinthians 2:14
God understands the price, the confusion, the grief, no doubt the anger that accompanies the pursuit of His glory above all else - and He provides living pictures of how to bear up under the weight of His mighty hand, to cast all cares on Him and believe Him good and caring even when the life experiences that yields His highest glory are costly, painful and scaring (Jesus bore the scares of His obedience even after the resurrection). Jesus models the greater value of pursuing God and His glory above all other pleasures, idols or pursuits - over the life of one He loves, even over His own life - and God's faithfulness to meet Him there, be with Him there, glorify His Name in the situations, raise Him from the dead to sit at His reigning side and thus provide concrete evidence for the Hope He offers to those who love Him.
...As it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”— these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. 1 Cor. 2:9-10
Jesus' goal was clearly to grow faith in His disciples (John 11:14), Martha and Mary (John 11:25-26, 40), and those following Him from more of a distance (John 12:30-32). Faith is that tether that connects us to God's power that insures our salvation and our sharing in the eternal inheritance promised to us (1 Peter 1:3-6). The trials of life are purposed to strengthen and purify this Faith such that it produces praise and glory to God upon Jesus' return (1 Peter 1:6-7). This perfection of faith is God's focus, not our ease or happiness. This type of faith sees, trusts, loves and tenaciously hangs on to Christ even though He is not visible and sometimes His purposes are unclear and the pathway foggy (1 Peter 3:8-9). Bearing this deep, lasting faith in the Savior is His goal and unto our salvation. This was Jesus' purpose bearing grief of the loss of the one He loved and releasing His own life to God's care - it is still His purpose now - to bear saving and lasting faith in us, purify it to be only on Himself and lead us home.
So, are all our desires, goals, this world, those we love or seek to live, even our own lives not compatible with the glory of God and thus must be abandoned? Certainly some of these "and's ..." are sin and must be laid aside or fled from. But are all the "and's..." evil? Not all are sin, as we are called to love our wives, children, other believers as Christ loves them, we are to work as God calls us to, to rule over the world and work with God to see that it comes under His submission. But compared to with our love for God, love for these precious ones and important things needs to be like hate in comparison. (Luke 14:26-28). The key appears to be seeking God's glory supremely and our associated joy "in" all these things, people and goals. Not treat these people and things as a means for joy, a source for our own glory or fulfillment, or hold them as idols seeking to serve and please them above God (fear of man). As Dane Ortland writes in his book about Jonathan Edwards, “True joy derives not from God and job, family, sex, friends, food, rest, driving, buying a home, reading a book, drinking coffee — but from God in these things. . . . Every taste of beauty in this world, from the roar of waterfalls to the chatter of birds to the richness of true friendship to the ecstasy of sexual experience, is a drop from the ocean of divine beauty. Every pleasure is an arrow pointing back to him. Joy is from, and only finally in, God”.
We are to glorify God in all things (1 Cor. 10:31; Col. 3:17). With this purpose and mindset, Jesus could find joy and glorify God as a carpenter, in temptation, in secluded prayer, serving the ever present multitudes, discipling His apostles, eating and drinking, teaching and arguing and ultimately dying and resurrecting. God confirmed His pleasure in Jesus through His presence and declaration at Jesus' baptism, on the Mount of Transfiguration, in the John 12 experience, by the empty tomb and Jesus' ascension to sit at the right hand of God in heaven. We should live as Jesus did - present in life - yet seated in heavenly places under the face of our loving, merciful and sovereign Father. Nothing is sacred or secular - all can and should be lived unto His glory as we stand and walk through life. We see and seek God and His glory in all things, at all times.
I don't know why I chose this picture.
I guess it reminds me of Ian so much - crazy face, smile,
a guitar, laughs, family, joy, hope, dreams, normal,
the five of us, on and on.
How to deal with the lack of you? I keep praying and seeking.
John 11 REAP
READ
Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” John 11:40
EXAMINE
How does God's sovereignty work with His divine compassion and love?
How does God respond to death?
How should man respond to death?
The story in John 11 appears to shed light on these questions. Jesus knows these issues intimately when He receives word of his friend Lazarus' illness; He knows that it's God's will that Lazarus will die and that in this death God's glory will be revealed and purposes accomplished.
When Jesus heard it, he said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” John 11:4
How hard must it have been to stay back and not run to the aid of his friend. How difficult was it to believe the Father, and "be too late". How difficult was it to help his closest friends to gain the slightest inkling of the reality of the situation and what He was planning to do. How alone must Jesus felt as He approached Bethany knowing the responses awaiting him from the beloved sisters. Did He fear coming to the town knowing that Lazarus would not be there to meet him, feeling the yawning hole left by his absence, approaching a place that was fundamentally different than the place of friendship and home he had known? Did He feel responsible for this loss - only He could have averted it - but He obeyed the Father instead and death grabbed another victim. The questions of the sisters - full of sadness, struggling to trust but still accusatory. "Didn't love him? Don't you love us? Are you who You say You are? Has our faith, commitment and friendship been in vane? You healed others, why NOT your close friend, our precious brother, Lazarus?"
Martha (and Mary later) said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." John 11:21
How great the damage death causes. The enveloping nature of grief was consuming in Lazarus' family and friends, and the pain of His close friends filled him with anger, frustration and the desire to remove death from its pre-eminent word regarding human life. But before that could be done, Jesus felt the loss, the gap left by death, the personal and corporate pain, the sadness of death and the damage it leaves in its wake. He felt the cost deeply to pursue God's glory above all other things - including what His own will may be.
The loss was felt, the gapping hole left but Lazarus' absence was seen, and the emotions cascaded in His heart. And Jesus wept for His loss, for their loss, for the loss caused by the Fall, for all who suffered loss since the beginning. He was a "man of sorrows well acquainted with grief" (Is. 53:3). He felt their, our, His suffering deeply. Jesus learned once again that seeking God's glory can come at a cost and must be pursued with single-mindedness and an undivided heart. No doubt this experience solidified His resolve to see His mission through and destroy death by His own death.
APPLY
Grief hurts! One misses the physical presence, the hugs, the voice, the smile, funny faces, the laughs, the time spent together, and a thousand other things large and small alike. Simultaneously, the grieving one is also doomed to miss what will not be shared from now on due to death and be haunted by the memories that are left behind - but to these we must hold on to! These secondary losses hurt deeply and reopen wounds that we think are long since healed. Jesus - felt these losses. He saw the loss in the eyes, responses and the pleading of the sisters. The cries, the presence and grief of the friends moved Him - He was Lazarus' friend too! As He approached the place where His friend lay, He felt the loss acutely. It drove Him to shed tears. The secondary losses no doubt played on His mind as He missed the normal interaction He and Lazarus shared. He was in Bethany, with the sisters - but all was incomplete for Lazarus was not there. I know this pain - I miss Ian's presence every day; I miss all our plans, all I want to share with him; I miss him more with every memory conjured by place, picture, song, smell, friend's visit or food taste. These losses drive me to shed tears.
This Scripture answers the question of how can God be both sovereign and compassionate. Jesus understood the purposes of God - that Lazarus must die and not be rescued from death. Jesus understood that the purpose would bring glory to God and Himself as the Son of God. This brought Him both joy ... and pain - for He felt the pain that this purpose caused Lazarus, His friends, and Himself - Jesus. He was troubled deeply by this pain and loss; He was angered by what death had stolen from Him, from His friends, from all men. He wept with His friends; He wept over the loss and the pain it caused. But Jesus could feel this pain deeply and maintain His joy for He knew that the ultimate purpose was that Lazarus' death would bring glory to His Father - for Lazarus had merely "fallen asleep" - He was not permanently dead, accidentally dead - but died according to God's will and plan and to aphis glory. God had other ideas for Lazarus and all believers beyond death. As Martha said rightly, he would be raised again on the last day to eternal day (Lazarus would have to die a second time to realize this!). Lazarus was not done, finished or lost in death - but asleep, to be roused back to life by the word of the Savior. We likewise are not lost in death, but merely sleep for likewise we will be raised from the dead.
This plan was for Lazarus' good, his sisters' good, his friends' good, and the good for all the Jews (and the world). Jesus would display His glory before all of these people and raise Lazarus. The sister's and Lazarus - got an "easy out" as Jesus raised him 4 days after death. But Lazarus died once more and waits as we do for the final, triumphant resurrection at the end to days. I not think it was on accident that Jesus used the name "Lazarus" to illustrate The profound realities about death. The experience of the real man Lazarus in death acts as a commentary to this haunting story. Lazarus' death as a believer was greeted by being "...carried by the angels to Abraham's side." (Luke 16:22). Abraham's bosom is the illustration of dwelling prepared by Christ for the faithful in God's presence. This transition from earthly suffering to eternal bliss was immediate and decisive (see the converse translocation of the rich man's soul to hell upon death as further evidence). Lazarus' body may sleep awaiting the shout of the returning Christ and trumpet of God to signal bodily resurrection 1 Cor. 15cf), but his spirited was immediately "home" upon death. We pray that as Ian "fell asleep" his spirit awoke in the arms of this same Jesus and is with him now awaiting the fulfillment of time to be reunited with his body again in the New Heaven and New Earth.
I am faced with a similar "pickle" as Jesus - I know that Ian's passing was according to God's sovereign purpose and to the ultimate glory of God - but it hurts like hell! But I know that it is also for our good and joy for Jesus will raise Ian. Ian is already with Jesus - being absent from the body, he is present with the Lord. He will raise Ian's body reuniting him with his spirit when He returns. We can be confident that this His promise is true.
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25-26
Therefore we can implore Jesus as John and Paul did, "Come Lord Jesus" - "He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!" Revelation 22:20; "If anyone has no love for the Lord, let him be accursed. Our Lord, come!" 1 Corinthians 16:22.
PRAY
Lord, I don't understand Your purposes - but I must trust that each is right yielding Your glory and for our good and joy. Pursuing Your glory above all else - even the life of one I love -is terribly hard. I feel the grief from Ian's loss - both the primary and secondary losses - he is missed at every turn. I shed tears, many tears, for him, for my family, for our loss. I know that You not only have Your purposes and insure that they are brought to reality, but You feel this grief, this loss with us. Jesus has walked this pathway before with His people - walk with us Oh Christ!
According to Your Word, Your promise and Your Son's experiences, we believe You have Ian secure in Your arms and have promised to redeem him/us completely making us anew in Your new heaven and earth. Teach me to embrace Your sovereignty, pursue Your glory first and foremost and believe in the reality of Your compassion and presence with us. Lord, I implore You - come and come quickly - demonstrate Your Lordship to and over all, receive the glory due Your name, and let's get on with this full redemption thing. I am ready. As I wait, I ask that I might bring You glory in all my words and deeds. In the Name of Your Son Jesus who is coming for His people, Amen.
