Tuesday, June 17, 2014

A Lifetime of Basketball in One Night - Game 5, the 2014 NBA Finals



Father’s Day – I approach this day with much trepidation and sadness. But, looking back it has been a good Father’s Day weekend – but one made difficult by distance, change and responsibilities. Caylea, Danny, and Lanette were all great in showing love in different and creative manners. I also spent quality time with Ian this day. Here is how my thoughts and conversations went.

Game 5, NBA Finals - the Spurs and the Heat – an epic challenge, repeat of last years’ finals. A win for the Spurs will be five championships in three different decades – dynasty time. The Heat can complete a three-peat, something the Celtics, Lakers, and Bulls have done – legendary. This Finals has not gone according to script for Ian’s beloved Heat. After stealing Game 2 in San Antonio and having home court advantage, they gave in to the aggressiveness and initiative of the Spurs to give up BOTH of their home games, by 19 and 21 points. More importantly, LeBron looks tired and Wade was way off last game. Both have been fantastic in the playoffs – but is the “team” concept of the Spurs just too much? The Heat are down 3-1 in the Finals – no team has come back from this deficit – is it possible. I talked trash to Ian about his team, but he remains upbeat.

Me: Is this really a series? I mean that the Spurs just look like the superior team in all ways over the first four games. I think your boys are gassed. 

Ian: Are you kidding me??? LeBron and Wade are the best players on the court; they will find a way. 

Me: But Leonard outplayed LeBron on his homecourt – two games?

Ian: That will only make the Heat more focused. Did you hear LeBron’s statement to his team before the game? “Follow me!” They will!

Me: They MAY do it in this game. But one loss, any loss and it is done.

Ian: My boys can do it – just have to play one quarter at time; win one quarter at a time. 

The Heat have been indeed Ian’s “boys.” I first called it merely “bandwagoning” as Ian adopted the Heat as “his team” in their first championship run in 2006 – just before we moved to Texas. Shaq and Dwayne Wade teamed up – the best of the past, promise of the future – they drew in his passion for the game. In the process, he left the Sacramento Kings, his first favorite, behind (after seeing two Kings games!). We enjoyed the best years of that franchise with Chris Webber and company while in Vacaville. 

He decided to be a basketball player in elementary school. I became one of his first coaches (actually his second) – a great bonding experience. But soon, he played on teams with more experienced coaches – good idea. Once he came to Texas, we let Caylea and Ian know that our Vacaville rule of one sport – especially at a time – was still in force. Ian chose basketball – in spite of his size or moreover, his potential size. But he had speed, ball handling and jumping ability to play with anyone of any size. He attended Chris Mihm’s (former UT star) basketball camp his first Summer in Austin. We still have the black basketball Chris signed for Ian in silver pen. Ian and Lanette met the Celtic great Dennis Johnson (jealous!) who was coaching the Austin D league team before dying of a heart attach later that year. This only added to his commitment to focus and develop his shooting and his rebounding as he came to Texas and began to play basketball at Brentwood Christian School. 

 It was there he met many of his lasting friends, among which were Aaron, Andrew, Jimmy, Jonathan and even Colton. Players came and went, but Ian, Jonathan and Colton were the three musketeers on the court. Colton was the full package – great pitcher, great shooter, ball handler and even a good post player. Ian was the blindingly fast point guard, the junkyard dog and Jonathan was the typical small forward – slashing and a good shot. Brentwood rarely was beaten during their two-year stint. It was always great fun watching Brentwood play, work to the end of a game – never give up, and play together. Ian played off-season, in the Summer – all around Austin. He loved basketball. His coaches in the WAYA program always looked to Ian as their example for hustle, never give up attitude, and leadership on and off the court. I can’t go anywhere, off Enfield, schools on Lamar or Burnet, School of the Deaf (remember me verbally asking a student: “Which way is the gym?”), Austin High, McNeil High, the schools off 71, Manor, EVERYWHERE is a basketball memory with you Ian and basketball! 

Ian loved collecting basketball cards. We would go the Card Traders of Austin shop on Spicewood Springs Rd. almost every week. He would spend hours looking through cards, saving money to buy cards of his heroes. Uncle Kurt, myself and others would go to look at baseball or football cards - Ian may have been given a Barry Bond's rookie card by Uncle Kurt even, but he was interested primarily in basketball cards. He collected hundreds. Organized these into teams, players, etc. Ian loved most of all to spin the wheel at the Card Traders shop - he could get a free card, a bag of cards, nothing... it was all a risk. But once he got a bag with mostly uninteresting cards - but in that bag was a rookie card for San Antonio Spurs star and future hall of famer Tim Duncan!!! Those cards and the shop bring back such great memories of our conversations, time spent and sharing life together. 



Well, back to the game. As you know from our last conversation during Game 7 of the 2013 Finals, Ian is an unashamed, Heat fan – primarily Wade, growing to LeBron and expanding to Ray Allen and Chris Bosh as they formed amazing chemistry. The Heat start out hot – scoring the first 10 or 12 points with Wade hitting the first shot of the game. LeBron was dominant. 

Ian: See Dad, they came to San Antonio to win it. Watch Wade and LeBron, attack, slashing to the basket – LeBron is the best player in the league hands down! Wade is still great – so much for the issues with his knee, he has been lights out this postseason.

Me: They are really good. Didn’t Durant win MVP – he was amazing this year.

Ian: But he couldn’t get his team to the Finals – San Antonio beat them in 6, the last game was even in OKC. 

Me: Yes, but injuries and, let’s be straight, I think San Antonio is playing the best NBA “team” ball in a decade. I don’t care how great Durant, LeBron or Wade are – they are just too strong to beat all the Spurs. 

Ian: You are just bitter that your “bandwagonning” with OKC did not work out with a championship. What happened to your Celtics?

Me: They all went to Brooklyn. I am a Durant fan, and OKC bandwagoner! Yes that is me! But did you hear his MBP speech? Gotta love him!

Ian: I know, I know. I like him too. Liked him since we first watched his first pre-season game at UT. He is a quality guy. His mom was amazing to raise him in such difficult situation. He is also a great player. Gotta admit that – but he is NOT here tonight!

Ian: Look at the game, in San Antonio – the Heat are up by 12 points and holding that lead. I am feeling it this game. 

Ian: By the way, is there any food to eat? I’m hungry. 

The game moved into the second quarter with the Heat up. Soon the game takes a turn. 

Ian: That was NOT a foul? Are they crazy? Blind? Not an offensive foul on Wade! Dad, that was a home cooking call.

Me: May be, but it still is keeping the advantage for San Antonio. A 14-0 run. That Leonard is scoring layups, 3 pointers and playing killer defense on LeBron. 

Ian: OH – DID YOU SEE THAT?!!?!!? Ginobli just dunked it on Chris Bosh – with his left hand!!! That was wicked. WhoooHoo!

Me: Old men can still rise up, can’t they – Duncan and Ginobli. Surprised me. You acknowledging a good Spurs play?

Ian: You know that I like good basketball – and love good dunks. That was both. 
Once in high school, Ian played freshman basketball at Anderson High School, as well as playing football…never say that we did not bend rules as needed with our kids! There he met Max, who became a close friend for all time. The two of them were hard players, giving their all, every play, and were not the best players – but good players on the team. They fought up from the “B” team to the “A” team based on their speed, hustle, rebounding and hope for shooting. Well, Ian kept lifting weights to become the muscle man we came to love. But his shot – which always was in the process of evolving…from right side set up, to over the head, to a circular pattern from right to left – was, well, off. I mean he could make 5-8 steals a game, get the same number of rebounds at 5’6.5”, but he would clank the ball of the rim, pound it hard off the boards on a lay up or overshoot on the jump shot. Ian was speechless he was so frustrated – we were bummed for him. Well Lanette near the end of the season made the connection between the weight lifting and his shot. This helped a VERY frustrated kid – at least understand what was going on. I still remember a great 3 pointer he nailed at the end of a half in a game – his smile, his confidence, his spirit was infectious. 

Ian’s Freshman b-ball coach was a football coach as his main job, and he struggled as a motivator. He would gripe, curse, pull players immediately out if they missed a shot, pass, dribble, etc. and even threw a chair or two in anger at a game. One game, he left the team very deflated after a chair tossing and after-game lecture. I was infuriated – how he treated Ian and his fellow players, jerking them in and out, not giving any time to get into the game flow, doing very little coaching and his cursing, throwing and negative actions. I set up a meeting back at Anderson – Danny and Ian tried to convince me NOT to speak with him (Danny was visiting from CA that week) – but I did. It was a heated discussion that grew into a hot conversation with the head varsity coach. Danny kept me calm. The coaches and I left things in a détente – they knew my position and they expressed theirs. I did not expect much to happen afterwards. But, their response was honorable – the coach apologized to the team, starting being positive and no more cursing and throwing things. The team did not win lots of games – but after that apology, the team certainly enjoyed playing more together. Ian finished strong, but his heart was no longer as deeply into basketball as in the past. 


The second quarter ended with anemic Heat offense and a 25-11 scoring deficit for the Heat. San Antonio ended up by 8 at half. Ian complained about the commentator’s exposition of the reason the Heat are down and the second half started. 

Me: I think that Kawhi Leonard may be the MVP. He is only 23 and is the offensive force with Ginobli for the Spurs, plus has to guard LeBron. He is coming up with steals and breakaways. Inside, outside he kills you.

Ian: Of course, if I had Duncan, Parker and Ginobli on my team – I could be a star too. They have to guard those guys first. 

Me: I agree – but he is still MAKING the baskets. Tony Parker is missing his. But Leonard’s defense makes him special.

Ian: Yes, but with Duncan and Diaw or Splitter behind you – you have LOTS of help to keep LeBron out of the paint.

Ian: Did I not say I am hungry?

Me: Splitter blocks Dwayne Wade’s dunk!!! Mills comes back with a 3 pointer. Now, three 3 pointers in a row! Whew the Spurs are on fire!

Ian: Where is the defense? Those are wide open shots! I can’t believe that Miami can’t get a stop!! I am so frustrated.

The Third Quarter is also not going the Heat’s way, 18-8 with 3 min left in the 3rd with the lead for the Spurs growing to 17. The game is clearly getting to Ian. 

Me: Patty Mills is amazing. He is filling it up – reverse layups, 3 pointers – he is stretching the court. 

Ian: He is from Australia, actually the first basketball player of prominence that is of Aboriginal descent. 

Me: Really?

Ian: His mom is a native Australian – one of the Aborigines – and his Dad is not. He led scoring in the Olympics the last time around. He can play.

Me: I agree. How do the Spurs find such amazing international players – it is like the best of the world versus the Heat!

Ian: Yes – it takes the best to beat the Heat! It’s clearly unfair! Ha ha ha. No, you are right they have great foreign players, Parker - the slashing guard, Ginobli – unpredictable and can shoot the lights out, Diaw – a point guard in the body of a post man; Splitter – strong rebounder and shot blocker and Mills – wow, another 3!

Me: All foreign? That is impressive…

Ian: They have more, 10 in all! Duncan is international even – the Virgin Islands. 

Me: Dude, you know your stuff! Do you just watch Sports Center and read ESPN? Ever study?

Ian: Dad – I love the game. Gotta know it. You know I like facts, figures and records. 

Me: You do! Remember the regular Christmas give for maybe 5 or 6 years in a row?

Ian: The Guinness Book of World Records – Love them, read them, know them!

Me: Yes you do – always showing us weird facts and off the wall videos! All this talk and the Spurs have ballooned their lead to 19 at the end of the 3rd Quarter. I think this one is over.

Ian: There is still a chance for one big Heat rally. By the way, still hungry!


Ian tried out for sophomore basketball in High School – but he was bulking up for football, his size began to be a challenge, and interest in Ultimate and wrestling began to grow. His time in football came to an abrupt end after three concussions in two years and a locker room incident leaving him with stitches. That was not all – a hip pointer he sustained being tackled as he used his powerful legs to take on the full defense in practice. Ian had the heart, speed and strength – they played him as defensive tackle over the center in football – he could compete there! But even with all his desire, contact has consequences. So, Ian left football – the original reason to go to Anderson and leave Brentwood – and left basketball, his first love. He was off to Ultimate (after a short stint in wrestling as a sophomore and soccer - surprise - as a senior) and certainly found his niche – landing A team in the Texas A&M Dozen his Freshman year in College! 



It is now the 4th Quarter – well it is a big up hill situation for the Heat. 

Me: I don’t think the Heat have enough offense. They are all out of synch – like the Spurs drove the Thunder to one on one basketball in Game 6. A “team” versus Durant and Westbrook – it is just not enough to have great players. 

Ian: LeBron keeps playing. Beasely – great shot over Duncan. Three point try…MISSED IT!!

Me: That does not help. 

Ian: No, it doesn’t. 

Ian: Chalmers – great fake, and draws the foul! He MAKES the free throw – now only down by 14. They are doming back. If San Antonio gets cold, they could be in trouble.

Me: LeBron did not even come out to challenge Parker and he got one in his eye!

Ian: LeBron makes me so mad – he could play better than that. Not even switching off the screen and giving him a wide open 18 footer!! 

Me: Parker has gone 7-8 this Quarter after not being able to buy a basket earlier in the game!

Ian: It is not looking good – but the Heat may have one more run in them. 

Me: It better be a huge run – they are down by over 15 still.

Ian: It’s just too much Leonard, outside shots, layups protecting the ball with his body, defense – he is making LeBron really work just to get a shot. I think this is over. 

Me: Looks like it is over. Spurs winning by 17. Wow – they really avenged the Game 7 game series loss from last year – won it in five. Five Championships for San Antonio - pretty cool. 

Ian: Yep – they just did not let Miami get back into it. They started out so strong – but count not keep it up. Where were Wade, Bosh or Allen?? They were 11 of 34 for the game! 22 points only!
Me: Who will win the MVP? 

Ian: Leonard should win it – but may give it to Duncan, bigger name. May be his last season too. The game is over; can we grab some food?

Me: Duncan will play at least next year. But 5 championships in his career over 3 decades – 1990’s, 2000’s, and 2010’s! Impressive old guy.

Ian: Yep, Old Man Riverwalk – they say. 

Me: That is kinda funny. 

Ian: Leonard won MVP – that is well deserved. He may not have outscored LeBron this game, but he pretty much neutralized him to not be THE force in the game. Good for him.

Me: Great watching the game together – love the energy, the conversation and the exciting time together. 

Ian: Glad to visit and enjoy this game with you Dad. Love you!

Me: Love you “e!” I miss you!

After Ian’s sophomore year in High School, Ian and our nightly basketball games ended – games that started on Trillick Court in Vacaville on a 7-foot goal, and continued for four years in Austin on our hill top court in our driveway. I could write about the horse games, the dunk contests, the 3-pointer shootouts, games of “21,” the role-playing of Wade and whoever I would choose – Ian always chose Dwayne Wade. I can say simply – what joy, what competition, what bonding, what precious memories sit on the top of our driveway in front of that basketball goal. I watched my boy grow into a man, from a novice to one who could beat me hands down, around that court. Add to our games the countless parties with games, sweaty boys, laughing, complaining and arguing, jumping over trash cans, dunk contests on 8½, 9, 9½ foot goals – and attempts at 10 (well, there was a claim of one dunk on our goal by Ian and two verified ones in different gyms, including one at A&M – the kid at 5’6.5” could flat out jump!). My stories of Greg Giddings at Midwestern State learning to jump and dunking inspired. Well, maybe the thrill of dunking inspired Ian – as it did Greg!

Ian and I played lots of basketball, at school gyms, the 24 Hour gym near campus, the J (with friends), at Triumphant Lutheran, the Rec at A&M and other places, but no place did we play so much as at our house on that goal on the top of the hill. Hated to miss a shot off the front of the rim – it would roll down the hill, sometimes hop the curb into our neighbor’s yard and had to run and stop it before it rolled into the Great Hills Park! Often, we would play for an hour or more a night. I remember during our heyday, I hated to see the Fall come, because it would get dark early and this only got worse with day light savings time. The issue - we lost bball time together. The lights did their best – but were never as good as the sun. Every parent has their “special” time with their kids, the renaissance that is the launching pad for a more mature relationship. For Ian and I, this was on that hill-top court in our driveway playing bball. We played some with Caylea and Danny, and friends – bball was our family game for that brief time. Soon, our game migrated to Ultimate with all three kids involved. But, that brief time, that was our time - together.



The goal still sits at the top of our driveway – a quiet sentinel from the past. Makes me cry to see that goal all alone and unused. So much is missing here. Makes me also smile to remember all the great memories and the blessings of the times there. Gotta make more of time. 

Love you “e” – call next game up there for us, one-on-one you and me. Can't wait.




Thursday, May 1, 2014

Reflecting on Parent's Weekend

Ian, 

I want to write about our last weekend together - what an incredible time we enjoyed and what memories cascade through my mind as I reflect on this time.
The week before Ian went Home was a full week that we now see as a gift by God as Ian’s time on this earth was rapidly coming to an end. Parent’s Weekend was in the middle of a busy Spring but Lanette and I looked forward to be in College Station for 3 days together with our son. We stayed in a B&B that really only had room for two (double bed) but was very nice and near campus. We met Ian in Parking Lot 30 near Moses Hall and, not unexpectedly, he was hungry. We could eat as well. We walked North Gate together and decided on Potbelly. Inside, we met his close friend Brenda and we chatted. We looked up and wondered where Ian went – Ian was busy getting to know the young lady who had checked us out. Nothing special, just getting to know a new person was the goal. People over process and things - that's Ian. We chatted as we ate and discussed the activities associated with the weekend. Ian went back to our B&B and was disappointed that he could not easily stay with us as in the previous B&B when we checked out A&M in the Spring of 2012. Ian struggled with whether or not to go to his friend’s Lori’s birthday party – worried about drinking, etc. After some time together, it was getting late – we dropped Ian off at the dorm and reminded him of the early morning breakfast for international studies. 

The next morning we met in the parking garage near the MSC. We received an earful of the past evening as Ian sought to protect his friends from the hurtfulness and issues associated with drinking. Ian was the only one of his friends that didn’t drink or participate in other activities – he may have had two drinks his whole Freshman year and fought with his friends constantly to keep them sober and acting lovingly with each other. That evening was no different. Well, that Saturday morning, we went to the International Studies breakfast in the new Experimental BIO building and met a nice family who had a son who was going to the UAE campus in the Summer – when asked, Ian said he was going to Texas A&M. He was ribbed extensively for his answer! Ian became increasingly interested in studying abroad as we ate and talked and reflected on the benefits his sister experienced in her last Summer in Germany. We walked around the MSC seeing the Mother’s Club’s homespun wares and we tried to win several raffles – we did not win - no shock! We then went to lunch in the old bonfire site and each tried different food from trailers – Lanette’s chicken meal was amazing. We went to his room to see YouTube videos – a common pastime of Ian and friends and Lanette won a bet with Ian about who won a survival race. Ian was thinking of different Tough Mudder or other survival races to train for - inviting me to participate. I was not sure yet. The late night at the party was the reason for a nap – Lanette and I did not see the pattern of Ian not taking his medicine. The reason for the nap seemed legitimate, but it actually foreshadowed problems to come.


The Maroon and White game was next on our list – see Johnny Football play. We met four of Ian’s friends including Trestan, Justin and Brenda. We enjoyed the game and play and discussed the football prospects of the Ags for the next year. It was nice to “score” when the Ags scored. Lanette pointed out a young lady that was giving Ian the stare during the game. She seemed a bit on the high maintenance or expensive taste for Ian. Lanette and I left in the second half and missed out on – on field pictures and a classic photo bomb by Ian as Brenda posed. These pics have been posted on Facebook - they are a joy to look.

We agreed to meet for a workout and I jogged to the Rec Center and waited for Ian and Brenda to come. Contrary to the normal argument over who would run the workout or Ian’s strategy alone, he dared to do my kettle bell exercise adapted to a dumbbell. We enjoyed the cardio and strength challenge and I wore him out!! That was rare. More on this on another blog - The Rec. We went back to our respective rooms to shower and meet for dinner. After food, we sate at the Mugwalls coffee shop – the Christian one – we watched Ian advise a new barista on drink orders and encourage her on the job she was doing. We studied together and met a Austin family whose twins Ian knew at Great Hills who attended A&M. At about 10 or so, Ian said he was tired and wanted to go to bed. We dropped him off at the dorm and headed back to our B&B. Unknown to us, we learned in the AM that Ian walked in and saw his friends in Moses Dorm and said to Brenden, “Are you thinking what I am thinking?” – together they said “Trashcans!” They then stripped a room of mattresses (two of their friends who happened to be out that evening) and set up a long jump environment in the hall with trashcans to leap over. The video of Ian running, leaping and landing in the fifth can, toppling link a bowling pin falling in the mattresses hair flopping, smile exploding on his face as he yells “WhooHoo!!!” This video has also been shared on Facebook - I'll post it here too - amazing!
Lanette headed out early on Sunday and called Ian telling him she was going to get coffee. Ian said, give him 5 and he would join her. Ian always loved being with us – especially his mom. It was during that trip to the coffee shop, etc. that the trashcan story emerged. We went to a church in which Ian’s friend Nico played the drums. The worship was okay and sermon very practical. Ian was frustrated that the pastor had used his words and wisdom to tie up the message when he could have used 2 Peter 1 to use God’s Word to demonstrate the entire point of the loaves and fishes message – God has imparted everything to His children they need to face the challenges before them and live godly lives. Want to hear more - read Preach the Word, Ian!! on this blog. We went by Best Buy to look for a keyboard. I did not know why he needed a new one - but he wanted a good one, the Apple one with the 10 key. Okay - I should have left this to natural consequences and not made any deal about this. I found a Hulk, Thor and Iron Man USB drive for each of the kids. Ian loved his Hulk USB drive! We then ate lunch at the legendary Cain’s Chicken Restaurant with its special pepper sauce. Ian challenged me to get out of my codependent responses - he was good at encouraging (read Preach the Word, Ian!! for more). I did not respond well to this, but walked off. I came back recognizing my son’s wisdom and strength. We parted ways in the parking lot 30, telling Ian that we loved him and enjoyed the weekend. The bear hug and kiss was memorable - all his hugs were! His maturity, his priority of people again impressed me.
The week after Parent's Weekend was a challenge for Ian, to get a book for Sociology, study for a biology test, application to work at the gym, and other things meant that this was going to be a busy week. We hated to leave him so early, but he had to get on his work and go to A+ tutoring to get ready for the BIO test. A study picture with Ian and Roxie was fun from studying for the BIO test that week. That week was a challenging week in our nation. The Boston Marathon bombing and the fertilizer plant explosion in West, Texas dominated the news. Ian called Lanette to tell him that after a full leg-day workout – a daily habit with Brendon and other friends – that A&M was participating in the “We are not Afraid” 5K to support the people of Boston. Ian was exhausted, but thankful to show solidarity win this manner. Apparently he started strong, finished walking a bit. The pictures with Brenden, Gina and Ian and Ian's selfie with Gina were the last pics we have of Ian. 
Ian’s Bio test did not go as well as he wanted – he made a B, but that made a virtual lock on a C for the semester. He was frustrated and wanted to drop or use another mechanism to get another shot. Two C’s in Biology would really set him back in his major. He was not sure what to do – his plans to be a physical therapist, exercise physiologist, etc were very competitive fields and he wanted to be at the top of the game. Further, his computer stopped working – it sounded like it was blue-screening and he was very frustrated and wanted a new computer or at least this one fixed. We discussed manners to convert his iPad into a full computer to get his application written and other work done and then email and use the computers on campus to print things out. Further, the iPhone Lanette had got him a month a go had a broken or foggy camera. His two other phones, iPhone and Windows phone, kept breaking and not working. This was a constant and frustrating saga for the past three years as Ian appeared to be constantly breaking his phones. 

The broken phone, computer, and need to adapt the iPad were the technical impetus for Ian to come to Austin that fateful Friday to allow Lanette to fix the computer and then take the phone back to the store to get a “fully functional” version. However, Lanette and I were slated to leave for India that next week – and we all wanted to be together. We had planned to go to Momma and Poppa Gene’s that weekend to celebrate their 50th anniversary – but Danny was unable to get that time off. It was still an outside option to visit them, but most likely it was to be a short trip – get things fixed, hang out and head back. So, this set up the final day with Ian as we looked forward to visit with Ian again.
Your visit did not happen - directly. God had other plans. I don't like these plans, but must say I am anxious to renew our conversation with you when we join you in our eternal Home. It seems forever to wait though, Ian. Your calling our names on Mother's Day last year and Mom's vision of you in heaven are our only concrete linkages to you in your new Home. I miss the random texts, the frequent calls, the fun discussions, the playing guitars, etc. we would share each day - whether you were at A&M, visiting home or with friends, hanging out, on and on. Everyday, I look at your contact on my phone and reach to call you, to text you and long to hear from you - everyday! This last weekend together - Parent's Weekend - is a tremendous gift as I mentioned. These are some of my memories. I know that Mom has shared memories as well. Quality time loving you, our son, enjoying you, our son, and now remembering you, our son, and looking forward to rejoining you, our son, soon. 

Love you,

"E" 

Monday, April 28, 2014

Ian's Inheritance and Ours

Thank you Lord that by the gift and power of Your grace lavished through Your Son Jesus, Ian lives even though he died. Thank you that Ian is now experiencing the living hope provided through the resurrection of Jesus, where faith becomes sight to what no eye has seen, or ear heard, or mind imagined - the eternal blessings You have prepared for those who love You. Thank you that today Ian fully experiences the inheritance of a son of God, a joint heir with Jesus, an inheritance imperishable, undefiled, unfading and reserved in heaven for Ian and all your children who were sealed in Christ by the Holy Spirit as a down payment of this promised inheritance and are being conformed into Your image Jesus through Your action in the midst of life, and even its suffering. Ian was not just chosen and predestined by You to this inheritance, but called, justified and now glorified in Your very presence where he is eternally safe in Your hands, experiencing the fullness of Your presence and glorious character. Ian is, as all believers are, part of Your eternal inheritance, Your eternal family, Your eternal plan summing up all things under one head, Jesus. Ian's experience is that of all the saints of old and will be the experience of all believers yet to be united in Your presence. The question is when in Your plan do we join Ian. I am ready ...


Faith, connecting the now to eternity:
Heb. 11:1, 6
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see...And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He is and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. 

Mark 9:24
Immediately the father of the boy cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!"


I get this father's response - seeing the situation that his boy is in, the audacity of Jesus' promises, and the limitations of my faith. My faith is limited only until it is set upon the limitless One. But that is a challenge for people such as myself ... I miss my music man!

Eternal facts for weary faith to rest upon:


John 10:27-30
[Jesus said] "My sheep listen to my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish; no one will snatch them from my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one can snatch them from my Fathers hand. The Father and I are one.” 

John 11:25-26
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live a even if he dies, and the one who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” 

Ephesians 1:3-6

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as hechose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

Ephesians 1:13-14
And when you heard the word of truth (the gospel of your salvation)- when you believed in Christ - you were marked with the seal of the promised Holy Spirit, who is the down payment of our inheritance, until the redemption of Gods own possession, to the praise of his glory.

Galatians 4:5-7
to redeem those who were under the law, so that we may be adopted as sons with full rights. And because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, who calls “ Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave but a son, and if you are a son, then you are also an heir through God.

Romans 8:14-18
For all who are led by the Spirit of God are the sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery leading again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself bears witness to our spirit that we are God's children. And if children, then heirs (namely, heirs of God and also fellow heirs with Christ) - if indeed we suffer with him so we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that our present sufferings cannot even be compared to the glory that will be revealed to us.

Romans 8:28-31
And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose, because those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; and those he called, he also justified; and those he justified, he also glorified. What then shall we say about these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

1 Peter 1:3-5
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy he gave us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, that is, into an inheritance imperishable, undefiled, and unfading. It is reserved in heaven for you, who by God's power are protected through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

1 Corinthians 2:9-10
But just as it is written, “Things that no eye has seen, or ear heard, or mind imagined, are the things God has prepared for those who love him.” God has revealed these to us by the Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.



Ephesians 1:18-20
- since the eyes of your heart have been enlightened - so that you may know what is the hope of his calling, what is the wealth of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the incomparable greatness of his power toward us who believe, as displayed in the exercise of his immense strength. This power he exercised in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms...

Ephesians 1:4-6
For he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world that we may be holy and unblemished in his sight in love. He did this by predestining us to adoption as his sons through Jesus Christ, according to the pleasure of his will - to the praise of the glory of his grace a that he has freely bestowed on us in his dearly loved Son.

Ephesians 1:9-10

He did this when he revealed to us the secret of his will, according to his good pleasure that he set forth in Christ, toward the administration of the fullness of the times, to head up all things in Christ - the things in heaven and the things on earth. 



In all my sorrows, Jesus is better - make my heart believe
In all my victories, Jesus is better - make my heart believe
Than any comfort, Jesus is better - make my heart believe
More than all riches, Jesus is better - make my heart believe
Our souls declaring, Jesus is better - make my heart believe
Our song eternal, Jesus is better - make my heart believe 
(AustinStone Worship)


Thanks to Matt Carter, Pastor at the Austin Stone for wisdom and messages on this topic

Monday, April 14, 2014

I want you to know his name!


Every parent brings to their children their identity, their name, their background - for better or worse. Indeed, having kids initially feels like an extension of these things - they now bear my image, to a degree, my personality, to another, and of course my name. This changes as children grow up. The circle of friends and acquaintances that parents associate with usually shrinks with regards to former, non-child having, people and expands and centers on people - parents and families - that share this defining factor: we have children. In this new circle, it is interesting how parents of strong individual identity and qualification become more and more associated with their children. No longer you are [insert your name!] with a degree after your name, but [your name] , [your kid’s name] Mommy or Daddy. This transition becomes more pronounced as your children enter and leave kindergarden, up through high school and beyond. You are, to a large part of your world, simply the mother or father of another. Although we are often driven by people recognizing us, accepting us, knowing us - as parents, that the primary association and identity is with your children is just fine. Indeed, a parent puffs up when he/she is referred to with relation to their children - even those with struggles - for they are a living extension of their parents. We want our children to go forth, be known and take joy and pride in them. We look forward to their lives to grow and eclipse our own.

God seemed to know this. His Son was born in obscurity, yet He sent the heavenly chorus to sing and announce His birth to those who would listen. He revealed the mystery of the child to faithful followers who blessed Jesus as an infant. After living 30 or so years "behind the scenes", Jesus burst forth at His baptism in full fledged ministry. God rejoiced over His Son and showered His Spirit upon Him as He proclaimed, "This is My Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." This statement did not just herald the Son's dual role as Servant and King, but was the expression of the Father's heart toward His Son. This word "Beloved" is used in both the Gospels and Epistles of Jesus. Indeed, every child needs to hear this cry of joy over them by their parents. To say, "This is Danny, my beloved son in whom I am well pleased." "This is Caylea, my beloved daughter, in whom I am well pleased." "This is Ian, my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased." Regardless of performance, attitude or outcome, parents are or need to be rejoicing over their children. "The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17.

God also proclaimed His joy for His Son as Jesus approached the cross and sought that God's Name would be glorified. After Jesus' passion and resurrection God promised that Jesus' Name is not just understood by Him and believers, but by all people of all times. That at the Name of Jesus, every knee will bow and tongue confess that He is Lord to the glory of God the Father. Indeed, praise to our kids, remembering our kids, acknowledging our kids is the highest form of joy and glory for a parent. 


I now understand why there are so many gold plaques - I used to think they were just born of hubris (and sometimes thye may be) but often it is parents, families who have lost someone special and they do not want people to forget the name of their beloved. I know that Danny and Caylea will continue to establish their names. I will see their influence and impact expand and rejoice over this. But I am fearful that people will forget Ian's name. That they will move on. I cannot. I know that it is normal and healthy for Ian's friends to move on, for nephews and nieces to grow up and have their memories of Ian grow dim. It is natural to find other relationships, not live in grief, to grow and find other identity. I did when Scotty died. Why not Ian’s friends and family? Well in this case it is my son!! I don't want his name, influence, value and presence to go away or grow dim.

I will not have new pictures of Ian. I take great joy in those I have. I desire intensely to hear new stories about Ian as I did this last week in College Station. Stories of joy, laughter and ice cream; stories of gummy worms and Doritos for dinner; stories of friendship, working out, love and giving. I am so proud of all my kids. They give such joy to my heart. I know they bless people they meet and know. I want Ian to continue to bless his friends, his family, even strangers. 

I want you to know his name!


Thursday, April 3, 2014

Stone

Meditations on the Castle at Guimarães

Hard and cold, 
Brought forth from the earth, 
Brittle, abrupt, angular shape
Breaking as it falls
To pieces


Shaped and cut, 
Supporting great form
Soaring great heights, of extreme mass
Stability is
Foundation


Carved and set
Yielding supple forms
Beauty from pick and hammer
Dreams reflected in 
Hardened form


Cracked and worn
Old as earth around
Repurposed, reused, relocated
Transformed into new 
Living on


Eroded
Every mark removed 
Each memorial torn down
Formless and littered
On the ground


Dust we are
To dust we return
Time washes away memory
Love and loss mingle
In grief

Breath and dreams
Used to build and mold
Only to break, waste away
Is life with the stone
Or the stars?


Living Stone
Bright Morning Star
Life is unyielding as the stone
Unreached as the sky
Forlorn?

Living Hope
In the Master's hands
Molded into masterpieces
Becoming living stones
Build upon Another
An eternal home